Just up front, that virgin jab in the headline is just a sad outburst on our part of which our crushing jealousy is largely responsible. 

Jackson Gordon, a student at Philadelphia University's school of industrial design, has went and built himself a fully functioning Batsuit. Gordon designed the closest thing we've seen to an actual Batsuit. While the suit itself isn't bulletproof, Gordon has made sure that the suit is resistant to hand-to-hand combat, baseball bats, and blades. Gordon's Facebook page, Armatus Designs, has a ton of images of the suit in varying stages of the design process and watching him get stabbed in his dorm room further proves that this kid will be running a Fortune 500 company sooner than later.  

Seriously, this is awesome and this kid has built something with his bare hands that will in all likelihood get him a contract with the Department of Defense while I try to hide the fact that, yes, I'm the one who microwaved fish in the office.