As of this morning, Kim Karadashian and Kanye West have just cause for celebration.
They have now surpassed 73 days of consecutive nuptial bliss, which is a full 24 hours longer than Kim's previous marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries. Seventy-three days, as we all know, is normally reserved for the traditional anniversary gift of paper, but Kimye being Kimye have gone for a decidedly more modern approach and will be exchanging a matching pair of Scarlet Macaw's that have been taught to repeat the phrase "you're amazing" over and over.
With 73 days firmly under their communal Givenchy belt, Kim and Kanye have proven that their love is eternal and can outlast anything. Well, almost anything. There are certain things in the universe that will undoubtedly outpace the couple's matrimonial coupling and we've forecasted deep into the future to discover them. Kim Kardashian's Hollywood, however, is immortal and will outlive us all.
- Jupiter (the planet)
- The Fast and the Furious franchise
- Red Pandas
- Prince William's Hair
- Rupert Murdoch
- Tim Duncan's NBA Career
- Special Edition Oreo Flavors
- White people saying "Fifty Cent"
- The respective empires of Blue Ivy and North West
- Arguments about whether Star Trek is better than Star Wars
- Spending tens of thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, carving your face into a brutal Doppelganger of your favorite celebrity
- Bemoaning the death of hip-hop
- Taylor Swift's manufactured humility
- AMC's The Walking Dead (sadly)
- Lindsay Lohan's combined hours of court mandated community service
- Crushing income inequality
