Homo sapiens have crafted tools for all sorts of things, including the wheel. It’s been said that there’s no sex in violence, but ancient Upper Paleolithic man’s sex batons, or dildos, were probably something created after someone used a similarly shaped weapon for sexual pleasure. While archaeologists have tried to ignore the obvious usage of most dildos, the oldest dildo ever found was from that era 30,000 years ago and unearthed in Germany. The kinky ancient Greeks were renowned for their sex parties, orgies, and gender-neutral debauchery, so artifacts from their culture include handcrafted cocks galore, including the olisbokollikes which were used in the 5th century B.C. These creations can be seen in Greek vase art, generally in solitary or female-oriented scenes. Dildos were talked about profusely in plays and literary works like Lysistrata, Thoomas Nashe’s The Choice of Valentines, John Wilmot’s 1673 Signor Dildo. Chinese women even used lacquered wood dildos in the 15th century.