Rest assured, This Is the End is the best comedy of 2013. (It's also one of the most fun exercises in genre—just check out this look at the influences.) Get your friends, go laugh, forget about how the NSA's been keeping track of everything you've ever masturbated to. But don't forget what's really going on—a very elaborate game of "Would You Rather." In this case, who would you want to be trapped with on the day the world ends.

Using the power of science (that is to say, jokes and a third grader's understanding of priorities), we've evaluated the attributes of the cast members of This Is the End. These are the results.

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