Image via Complex Original
The blog-style gossip site Media Take Out, which launched in 2006, is notoriously known for inciting celebrity drama. And as the most visited urban website in the world, readers constantly demand slanderous dirt (read: shade) on A-listers. The most fascinating part about the online gabfest, however, is its approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct (read: ratchet) style and voice. Here, we recap the best headlines of May.
Ladies And Gentleman . . . The UNTHINKABLE Has Happened . . . Flavor Flav Is Now EVEN UGLIER Than When He Had His Show!!!
Date: May 8.
Oh, wow. Sometimes there are just no words.
DISRESPECTFUL!!! Look What R&B Singer Ciara WORE . . . To Future's Sons GRADUATION!! (Not A Single F*CK Was Given)
Date: May 29
A stepmom any kid would truly be proud of.
DAYUMMMMMMM!!!! Check Out These BIKINI PICS Of R&B Singer ASHANTI . . . They're NOT PHOTOSHOPPED . . . And She's NOT WEARING MAKEUP!!!
Date: May 29
Nelly must be hating himself right now.
WHAT THE FREAK Happened To Rapper BIG SEAN . . . Now That He's Dating That GLEE ACTRESS . . . He Looks All FRANK OCEAN!!!
Date: May 21
No one likes a copycat, Sean.
ON BLAST!!! Chris Brown's BEST FRIEND Calls Out Rihanna . . . Says That She F**KS TO MANY N****S!!!
Date: May 27
Haters gon' hate.
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL Y'ALL!!! VH1 Reality Star Is CAUGHT . . . BOOSTING FROM A STORE!!!
Date: May 18
Winona Ryder, 2013 edition.
OH WOW!!! Did Rapper NAS BABYS MOTHER Kelis Always Have A BODY THIS BANGING . . . Or Did She Get Herself ENHANCED??? (Pics)
Date: May 28
Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
WOWZERS!!! Have Y'all Seen Pics Of Actress KERRY WASHINGTON Without Makeup . . . She Got A STRUGGLE HAIRLINE . . . And Looks Hella BASIC!!
Date: May 28
Basic? That's subjective. But Kerry's making bank, just sayin'.
SHOTS FIRED . . . SHOTS FIRED!!! Rihanna Takes A SHOT At Beyonce!! (This Is Gonna Be GOOD)
Date: May 27
Get your popcorn ready.
HMMMMM . . . We Just Had A THOUGHT . . . Has Anyone Ever CONFIRMED With 100 Percent CERTAINTY . . . That Omarosa From Apprentice Was Actually BORN A FEMALE!!!
Date: May 22
With a demeanor like hers, this is actually a fair question.
SEXY . . . OR THIRSTY???? R&B Singer Ashanti Wears A BARELY THERE Outfit Out In Vegas . . . Her Azz And Tiddays Were OUT FOR DISPLAY!!
Date: May 27
If you got it, flaunt it. Just be prepared to hear people call you thirsty.
OH MY GAWWWWWWWWD!!! Beyonce Is The ILLUMINATI . . . That's The ONLY WAY IN HECK . . . We Can Explain How She's ABLE TO DO THIS!!!
Date: May 31
Uh, ok.
You Know We're GOING TO HELL For Saying This . . . But Doesn't SHERRI FROM THE VIEW Remind You Of . . .
Date: May 20
That's just wrong. Funny, but wrong.
Actress Eva Longoria Had An EMBARRASSING WARDROBE MALFUNCTION . . . Accidentally EXPOSED HER VAHJAYJAY!!!
Date: May 19
When you look like Eva Longoria, you shouldn't even be embarrassed.
AWWW SH*T . . . Ladies GET IN HERE . . . We Got Pics Of Rapper DRAKE'S PACKAGE . . . And Let's Just Say . . . . He Got His P*NIS From The JEWISH SIDE OF HIS FAMILY!!!
Date: May 17
We're sure some ladies would still like to say "Shalom."
R&B Singer KELLY ROWLAND Blasts Beyonce . . . And Claims That SOMEBODY CLOSE TO HER . . . Put HANDS ON KELLY!!
Date: May 16
Best friends to frenemies.
Mother Catches Her 14 Yr Old DAUGHTER . . . On Facebook Receiving D*CK PICS From Grown Men . . . So She Takes Matters Into HER OWN HANDS!! (Is This TOO MUCH)
Date: May 28
So, this is why men hate having daughters, they cause nothing but trouble.
For The First Time IN A LONG TIME . . . Actress Jennifer Hudson LOOKS A HOT MESS!!!
Date: May 15
Come on, Jen. You're so much better than this.
Floyd Mayweather's FIANCE Responds To The Pics Of Him IN BED With His BM . . . She Says YOU MAY HAVE HIS D*CK . . . But I Got HIS POCKETS!!!
Date: May 14
Well, at least we know she's there for love and not money. Not.
Rihanna Is Spotted Out Last Night . . . With The NUMBER ONE MAN IN HER LIFE . . . And NO It's Not Chris . . . Or Drake . . . Or JR SMITH!!!
Date: May 10
Aw, brotherly love. Nice to see Rihanna with someone who actually loves her.
UH OH . . . Kris Jenner Is Leaking Stories TO THE PRESS . . . Trying To Make It Seem Like Kanye Is ABUSING KIM KARDASHIAN!!!!
Date: May 13
The momager is at it again.
OOOOUCH!!! We've Got CLOSE UP PICS . . . Of The NASTY BRUISE That Kanye Got . . . When He BUMPED HIS HEAD Yesterday!!!
Date: May 12.
No wonder he flipped out on the paparazzi. That looks like it hurts!
Lil Wayne's FATHER Birdman Gets YET ANOTHER Tattoo . . . ON HIS FACE . . . And There Really Ain't MUCH ROOM LEFT!!!
Date: May 11
Another piece of prime tattoo real estate gone.
WHAT THE FREAK???? Rihanna Goes On Instagram . . . And Tells All Her Friends . . . That She Acts Very 'N****RISH'!!! (Dis Chick Really Is As RATCHET As We Suspected)
Date: May 29
Ratchet, or just shouting Yeezy's lyrics?
SWINGERS!!! Rapper FUTURE And Ciara Pick Up A SKRIPPER At The CLUB . . . And Take Her BACK TO THE HOTEL
Date: May 1
You know what they say: two's company, three's a party.
CAUGHT CREEPING: John Legend Gets BUSTED . . . For Cheating On His EXOTICAL FIANCE!!!
Date: May 9
Bad move, his fiance is gorgeous.
Kelly Is Really DOING THE MOST To Sell Records . . . Now She's Going TOPLESS!!!
Date: May 9
Gotta do what you gotta do.
AWWWWWWW!!! We've Got A Pics Of Kim And Kanye At YESTERDAYS MET GALA . . . All Snuggled Up On A Couch . . . And Being ROMANTIC!!!
Date: May 8
Fall '13 camo collection.
EMBARRASSING!!! Pharell's Fiance Gets DRUNK . . . FALLS DOWN . . . And Her TIDDAY POPS OUT!!!
Date: May 7
Ouch, that has to be a little embarrassing.
There She Goes Again . . . RIHANNA Is Acting Up On Twitter . . . This Time She's TALKING RECKLESS About Nicole Richie!!!
Date: May 7
Ding, ding, ding. Cat fight.
We Know That Pop Sensation LAUREN HILL Has A Lot To Worry About . . .With TAXES And JAIL And All That . . . But She Needs To Start WORRYING ABOUT HER EYEBROWS!!!
Date: May 7
Legal troubles or no legal troubles, you should still look in a mirror sometimes.
LMAOOOOO!!! Mimi From Love And Hip REALLY IS MOLLY THE MAID . . . And We've Got The PICS TO PROVE IT!!!
Date: May 6
Going to prove that if someone makes fun of you, embracing it is the best approach.
UMMMM . . . Can Someone Please Tell Rapper AZAELIA BANKS That Next Time She LEAKS NEKKID PICS Of Herself . . . She Should Put LOTION ON First!!
Date: May 6.
Some people go way too far for attention.
UMMM . . . We're Not Trying To START NO MESS . . . But Who Is This RANDOM LADY . . . On A Date With MARRIED NBA Baller Jerry Stackhouse???
Date: May 5
If you're going to fool around, make sure Media Take Out isn't watching.
CAUGHT AGAIN!!! New York HIP HOP DJ Mister Cee Is Caught . . . Trying To BUY A TRANNEY PROSTITUTE!!!
Date: May 5
There are only so many times you can call something like this an accident.
Keyshia Cole Was Looking Real RATCHET At Her Concert . . . And It Looks Like Her WEAVE WAS BOTHERING HER . . . Cause She Kept PATTING IT!!
Date: May 4
Come on Keyshia, you're rich and famous, get some good weave.
COULE'D UP!!! Magic Johnson's SON And His BOYFRIEND Are Spotted Out On A Date . . . And They Both Have MATCHING PURSES!!!
Date: May 4
So a couple that has been together for a while really does start to look alike.
The STRUGGLE Just Got REALER!! Look What This FINANCIALLY STRAPPED Boy HAD TO DO . . . To Keep His Braids Looking FRESH!!!
Date: May 3
This man understands the importance of staying fresh to death.
MTO WORDLWIDE MEGA-EXCLUSIVE: Rihanna's Appears To Have DUMPED CHRIS BROWN . . . For A GIRL!!
Date: May 2
There's a reason they called her bad gal RiRi.
LOL!! Tamar Braxton Tries To HUG HER HUSBAND . . . But BOTH OF THEIR BELLIES Are Too Big . . . To Let It Happen!!!
Date: May 2
A couple that eats together, stays together.
