Nobody wants to wake up in the middle of the night to surprise nudity. Around 1 a.m. on August 15, a Fort Pierce, FL, woman woke to the sound of her dog barking and went to investigate. When she looked outside, she saw John David Kinder dancing completely naked in front of her house. According to an arrest report, Kinder, 25, was spotted dancing naked, then fell in front of her house. There was no rush to help him get up.

Nevertheless, an unidentified woman helped him to his feet and inside of her home. Police went to the home and spoke with Kinder, who denied any naked funny business. However, a witness identified him, as did the dirt on his back. He was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

If only his naked dance of seduction could charm the law.

RELATED: The Most Ratchet News Stories of MarchAprilMayJune and July.

[via The Huffington Post]