People love to drink. People love famous people. Famous people are brands. Famous people love money. Put all this together and you reach an obvious conclusion—celebrity owned and marketed alcohol.

For this piece, we've intentionally left out celebrity-owned vineyards, as they are legion and deserving of their own look. As a teaser, please know that Lil John owns a vineyard. Celebrity-owned beer will also get its own look, just you wait.

For now, enjoy oddities like the little-known Polish vodka Bruce Willis owns a slim share of, and passed-away dranks like the Dipset-approved Sizzurp. R.I.P.