3. Peanut Butter Cheese Fudge

Paula's recipe for peanut butter cheese fudge reads like it was written by a toddler on a sugar-rampage in the pantry, wildly pulling things off the shelves. A half pound of Velveeta cheese, a cup of peanut butter, and two 1-lb. boxes of confectioner's sugar? Does that even make sense?

No, it doesn't, because it's missing one thing: the butter. "Too much butter? I've never heard of such a thing," Paula says with an evil glint in her eye, as she adds two sticks to the sinister mess of cheese, sugar, and peanut butter she has simmering on the stove.

For the record, that was an actual quote, not the product of our cruel imaginations.