4. Solid Snake's accelerated aging

Metal Gear Solid's iconic protagonist, Solid Snake, is dying. Due possibly to the side effects of being a clone, to the mysterious FOXDIE virus, or to a peculiar reaction to the nanotechnologies injected into every future soldier's body, Snake ages at a pace far more rapid than any other mortal force on the battlefield.

And it's getting worse. During the 72 days Kim Kardashian was married, Snake could have aged as many as five years. That might help explain the divorce, actually—Kardashian probably decided to cut and run when she found a grey hair in Humphries' pubes. Shouldv'e trimmed, dude.