10 Things Every Guy Should Know About Scotch

Scotch, like wine or craft beer or really expensive lingerie, can get complicated really fast. Having a drink shouldn't include a lecture, though some people seem unaware of this fact. That said, scotch tends to be expensive; you don't want to just glug and forget.

Complex spoke with Nicholas Pollacchi (@BalvenieNP) of the Balvenie distillery about the basics of scotch—how to drink it, how to talk about it, how to better appreciate it. If nothing else, think of this as a quick and dirty tutorial in sounding like a baller. Like the cigar you're smoking with your scotch was lit with the help of a smoldering Benjamin Franklin. Cheers.

"All scotch is whisky, but not all whisky is scotch.

"Scotch whisky is a legal term created to protect whisky made in Scotland. By law scotch whisky has to be distilled and matured in oak casks for a minimum of three years in Scotland. So you can find other single malts; the Irish and the Japanese make single malts—Tullemore Dew and Yamazaki, respectively, for example—and though the style of whisky will be similar, they can’t be single malt scotch whisky."

"Single malt means that the whisky comes from one single distillery and the malt part refers to the malted barley. Single: one single distillery. Malt: the grain that we use. For single malts, we use 100% malted barley. Blended whisky, like Johnnie Walker, uses a variety of grains, predominantly wheat or corn which will then be cured for a minimum of three years in oak casks. Then those whisky companies buy casks of single malts from other distilleries and blend them to create their spirit.

"There’s no such thing as a blended distillery. You can’t visit Johnnie Walker. It doesn’t exist. It’s a blend that’s done in a blending room as opposed to a single malt distellery you can actually visit."

"Older doesn’t mean better. Lots of people think it does, but that’s not the case. Good quality whisky comes from good maturation. Maturity and age are very different things. The time spent in cask is not as important as the quality of the cask that the whisky sits in. I can prove that.

Casks are like human beings—it’s a natural, organic process, what happens inside the cask between the spirit and the wood. There’s no way for us to control that natural process. You just have to be patient. The age won’t tell you how good it is. I’m sure you know one 30-year-old person who is an asshole. And I’m sure you know one 30-year-old who is cool, who you’d want to have a beer with. Casks are the same way. The better the wood is, the better the whisky."

"Any sort of glass that comes up to collect the flavor at the top.

"I always recommened that you use a tulip-shaped glass, a Glencairn glass. It’s designed specifically for nosing whisky. It pushes the alcohol vapors up, concentrating them so that you can better appreciate them."

"Nosing a whisky is about how it smells. The first step when drinking whisky is nosing the glass. Because you’ve got the spirit in a tulip-shaped glass, and because you’ve remembered that the spirit is very high in alcohol, you don’t just stick your nose in the glass. It’s not like wine, where you swirl the wine around. No swirling here, please.

"Just waft the glass underneath your nose, allowing those aromas to come up. The first aromas you’ll get are the sweeter, lighter ones. Then, if you keep your nose above the glass, the darker, richer aromas will follow suit. That’s nosing a whisky. You’re appreciating some of the flavors before you’ve even taken a sip."

"When you take a sip, you want to slightly chew the whisky around your mouth. Don’t swirl like mouthwash; don’t sling it back and swallow.

"Keep it in your mouth for a couple seconds, then swallow. And I like to tell people to take a big breath in and out of their mouth. Then you’ll get the most from it. The front of your mouth is where all the sweetness is sensed, the floral notes as well. Then with your deep breath, you’ll taste the oakier tannins at the back of your mouth."

"When it comes to single malt whisky, there are two ways to drink. The first is for appreciation. The second is for enjoyment. If you’re appreciating the whisky, if you’re looking to compare different whiskies, I recommend that people try it neat.

"Try and neat, then if you want to add water, add water. Add drop after drop. If you add too much water, you can always add more whisky.

"But remember: If you buy the whisky, you own the whisky; drink it any way you want it. That’s the way to enjoy it."

"Water creates a chemical reaction. It breaks the surface tension of the liquid, then it dilutes the alcohol, pushing down the heavier alcohols and allowing the lighter alcohols to come to the surface. People talk about opening a whisky up—water brings out the more floral notes and some of the more citrus notes.

"If you add ice—again, it’s a chemical reaction—it chills down some of the fatty oils that are inside the whisky, therefore the nose that you get tends to be much sweeter, lingering on the lighter notes, the vanilla notes. The darker, fattier, heavier notes are worked on by the ice, allowing the light ones to rise. But it comes down to personal preference."

"The finish is the length of time you can still taste the whisky in your mouth after you’ve swallowed. If you can still taste it 15 seconds later, that’s a nice finish. If you can taste it a minute or two later, that’s a nice long finish. If you take a sip, take a breath, then five seconds later it’s dissipated, that’s a short finish. It doesn’t make it better or worse, it just makes it different. Some people really like a nice long finish, but others like to sip a whisky and have it be that—when it’s gone, it’s gone."

"Talking intelligently about whisky, the taste and smell, comes down to practice. I always make fun of the sort of wine critics that will stand there and say, 'Yes, I can smell children skipping in a meadow, daffodils; I can tell that the grapes were picked by left-handed people on a Tuesday.' That’s nonsense.

"In very simple terms is the best way to start thinking about flavor. Think about sweet. Think about vanilla, think about wood, think about dried fruit. Ask, 'Is it smoky? Is it peaty? Is it salty? Does it have a medicinal smell or taste?' Then you can start to elaborate."