If Young Guns pissed off Sergio Leone fanboys, then this insultingly sanitized Western flick must’ve had them reloading their six-shooters in vengeful anger. American Outlaws takes revisionist history into shameful directions, the worst being how it presents 1860s Missouri as a land full of frat-boy types and perfectly manicured faces. The last time we checked, the old West was a place for grizzled old salts who’d crack whiskey bottles over the heads of pretty-boy-types like Colin Farrell.

Playing real-life outlaw Jesse James, Farrell signed onto American Outlaws right at the beginning of his next-big-thing phase, so it’s actually quite impressive that he somehow managed to still have a career in its wake. American Outlaws is more Tiger Beat than Cormac McCarthy, turning James and his gang of bank robbers into an assembly line of bland poster-boys designed for teenage girls who think The Good, The Bad, The Ugly is a hairstyle column in Cosmopolitan.