Opportunities like the one in the new comedy Hall Pass don’t come around very often in real life, if ever. The Farrelly Brothers’ (Dumb And Dumber, There’s Something About Mary) latest raunchfest stars Owen Wilson as Rick, a bored married man whose wife (Jenna Fischer) presents an epic scenario: He can fornicate with any woman he wants over the course of a week. Of course he accepts; there’d be no movie if didn’t, only a despicable man we’d want to pimp-slap. Rick, along with his best friend Fred (Saturday Night Live favorite Jason Sudeikis), proceeds to test his panty-dropping magic in a variety of places, including nightclubs and an Applebees. Being a Farrelly Brothers movie, Hall Pass has more fun with miserable failure than to-the-bedroom victory, mining some embarrassing flirtations for belly laughs. Movies in general (not just comedies) have a deep catalog of mishandled courtships, which leads us to the following tutorial for any and all single men: The 10 Worst Ways to Pick Up Women, assembled from the shattered egos of past film characters. Read on and don’t become another lonely statistic.

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