WHAT’S THE WORST RESULT YOU’VE SEEN FROM SEX WITH A COWORKER?
“I can’t put my people’s business out there like that! Look, I don’t endorse it, but I don’t really care. Office hookups are to be expected. My employees can screw each other as long as they don’t screw my company.”
“I don’t know! I’ve never had sex with a coworker; I’m not one of those people who mixes business with pleasure. But I would imagine it gets very uncomfortable when it ends and you still have to be [around them] in the workplace.”
IF YOU WERE A STRIPPER, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME BE?
“Wiggles. [Laughs.] I like it when strippers have practical names, like Jennifer—like they’re not ashamed they strip. It’s way better than Labia Menorah and Mouthfulla Areola.”
“Hazel, maybe…or Honey Child…or Honey…Peach…”
WHAT IS THE FLASHIEST OUTFUT YOU’VE EVER WORN?
“A shiny royal blue tuxedo with a black lapel and black shiny pants— I felt very Diddy. I left the house thinking, ‘I don’t know if this is right.’ I thought it was on some cool Rat Pack vibe, but when I arrived at the event, people were like, ‘Hey, Jersey!’”
“I wore a sequined onesie on the red carpet, but I wore the completely wrong shoes and it made my body look weird. Theybf.com said the look was ‘foolywang.’” [Ed.—Not to be confused with “polterwang.”]
WHAT IS YOUR SIGNATURE COCKTAIL?
“The most recent is the ‘Jersey Rita,’ my version of the margarita. Go to beingmarcecko.com for the ingredients. Not to pat myself on the back, but I’m the king of cocktail inventions.”
“Hennessy and apple juice—we call it ‘Happy Juice.’ In college, we got a fifth of Hennessy but didn’t have any Coke, only apple juice. We held the bottles up and were like, ‘Hey, it’s the same color! Let’s mix it!’ We loved it. It’s hard to find apple juice in the club, though.”
WHAT IS THE WORST EXPERIENCE YOU’VE HAD WITH A PLANT?
“Watching my mom destroy the sensimilla I’d been nurturing in the backyard for eight weeks. She nipped that bright idea in the bud.”
“We had some poison ivy behind the house when I was a kid and I broke out in hives from it one time. That’s the worst. The worst!”;