Vince Staples has all the right advice for your problems.
In an interview with Mankaprr Conteh for Rolling Stone, the rapper was quizzed on his takes about various common situations, from avoiding physical fights to meeting your partner's parents for the first time. Inspired by how the Netflix series The Vince Staples Show sees him tackling his daily life problems, Conteh said she wanted to create a sort of "Vince Staples' Declassified Life Survival Guide" based on various scenarios people might find themselves in.
First up, the 30-year-old was asked about how he might avoid getting into a fight when someone really wants to get into it. "Oh, that's easy," he replied. "Fake a heart attack, fake a seizure, some sort of medical emergency, or you just start talking about God because everybody loves God." He asked if the people involved in the fight were Black, to which Conteh said yes. "Just start praying," Staples added. "Yeah, just start praying, you good. Come on, my good brother, in the name of Jesus, let’s bow our heads in prayer. And you good."
Another anxiety-inducing scenario many of us find ourselves in is the first meeting with a significant other's parents, and he's got advice for impressing both their mother and their dad. "Mom, just tell her she beautiful, and I see where [the daughter] got it from. Boom. That always works," he said. "Dad, find a sport. Find a sport or tell them you got a job. These are also Black people, right? ... We love somebody with a job. Oh, man. 'How you been, sir? Just working hard down at the job.' Once you hit them with 'down at the job,' you good."
If you don't have a job, he stressed the importance of pretending you have a job or just avoiding meeting your partner's father. "That’s what personal responsibility is. Just be honest with yourself," he said. "You got to stay at the house if you don’t got a job."
Another scenario thrown at Staples included getting pulled over as a Black person, specifically for a traffic law. "'Yeah, my bad, bro.' That's it," Vince said. "Just keep it simple. ... Take the ticket. Get up out of there. Don’t argue with the man. Take the ticket. You can go about your day, because they waiting for you to trip. I learned that when you get scared of the police, they like, 'OK, he got something.' You know what I mean? 'Oh, you know you’re going 65?' 'Yeah man, it’s a nice car. It’s a Honda.' Take the ticket. Go about your day."
If the police officer is out to kill you, however, he said it's time to revert back to prayer. "Prayer works, man. Everybody like prayer," he said.
And finally, Vince was asked what the best way to make money is, and he gave his simplest answer yet. "Get a job, man," he said. "We got to stop being so anti-job in this new society with these children, man. Go down to McDonald’s, flip you some fries, man. And live beneath your means. Save money. You don’t got to move out of mama house. You know what I mean? Stay with mama. Save up and don’t buy them purple jeans. You’ll be good."
The first season of The Vince Staples Show debuted on Netflix on Thursday, Feb. 15 to critical acclaim. The rapper stars as a fictionalized version of himself in the comedy series, following in the vein of shows like Atlanta and Dave. That he's a rapper, however, is more background dressing to the plot at large, which tackles his day-to-day life. In the interview, Staples said he even got acting advice from Atlanta creator Donald Glover himself.
Read the full Rolling Stone interview here.
