Billie Eilish has opened up about her relationship with porn.
The pop superstar guested on the Howard Stern Show and explained that she was first exposed to porn at a young age. While she didn’t see a problem with it initially, she says it eventually “destroyed my brain.”
“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace, and I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11,” Eilish said, per Uproxx. “I didn’t understand why it was a bad thing. I thought that’s how you learned how to have sex. … I was an advocate and I thought I was ‘one of the guys’ and would talk about it and think I was really cool for not having a problem with it and not seeing why it was bad and…I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.”
As Billie—who just dropped her self-directed video for “Male Fantasy”—became sexually active, she explains that the “abusive BDSM” porn she was watching ended up leading to “problems,” where she “was not saying no to things that were not good.”
“It’s because I thought that that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” said Eilish, who turns 20 this week. “I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was OK. The way that vaginas look in porn is fucking crazy. No vaginas look like that. Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t come like that…it’s how so many people think they’re supposed to learn.”
In the same interview, Billie—who pulled hosting and performing duties on Saturday Night Live this weekend—spoke about her nerves for the show and throwing up on the plane to New York, as well as a two-month battle with COVID-19 earlier this year. She credits the vaccine for keeping her alive during the whole thing.
“I want it to be clear that it is because of the vaccine I’m fine,” she said. “I think if I weren’t vaccinated, I would have, like, died, because it was bad. When I say it was bad, I more just mean that it felt horrible. But really, in the scheme of COVID, it was not bad. You know what I mean? When you’re sick, you feel fucking horrible.”
Check out the podcast below, and skip to around the one-hour and 7-minute mark to hear where Eilish speaks on porn.