This latest episode of Love & Hip-Hop: New York did a number on our emotions. The show began with the incredible news that Remy Ma and Papoose were expecting their first child together; but by the episode’s end, it was revealed that the 36-year-old MC had suffered a miscarriage.

In Monday’s episode, Remy opened up about her loss, explaining she had experienced an ectopic pregnancy. She then underwent surgery to remove the fetus, and was told she would be unable to get pregnant again.

Shortly after the show aired, Remy posted an emotional Instagram video she filmed from her hospital bed after the loss.

“I had a chance to go to a store and see mad baby stuff. I bought a pregnancy journal and started filling it out. I never for one second thought that it would end like this for me in the hospital,” she said in video. “I have stitches in my stomach and no baby. Today I was thinking of names, planning the nursery […]”

In the video’s caption, Remy thanked everyone for their support and offered some words of encouragement for other families who experienced a similar loss.

“This was a hard time for me & my husband & we thought long and hard before deciding to share this part of our lives with you all,” she wrote. “[Papoose] made me realize how many women like myself experience the same thing and don't have a strong partner by their side to say it will be alright. So I'm here to tell anyone going thru a similar situation that it is not over and God has the last say.”