20 Lil Wayne Punchlines You've Never Heard (Or Ever Will)

Complex Music digs up the lost Tunechi bars that will stay buried. Forever.

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Image via Complex Original
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When Lil Wayne found his artistic voice in the mid-Aughts, he ran with it until he became the Best Rapper Alive. With that came a very distinct rhyme style; a mix of stream-of-conscious tangents, witty turn-of-phrase, and oblique references to his sports fandom, breadth of pop culture knowledge, and drugs. Among (a few) other things.

But nowadays, before you even hear a new Weezy song, you already know what's coming: Something about weed, something about his dick, "Weezy F and the F is for," and something about taking a shit (that guy is really, really into his own bowel movements). With the release of his I Am Not A Human Being 2 looming, Complex has managed to unearth some D-Side cuts, from the deepest vaults of Young Money's Raiders of the Lost Ark-esque archives. In them, we found the greatest Lil Wayne rhymes you've never heard. Or will hear.*

[*Because we made them up. Don't tell Birdman.]

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"She giving up that mouth, so I gotta use it/Bust up in her eye, contact solution."

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"Eat so much pussy you can call my ass a foodie/All rats gotta die, even Ratatouille."

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"Kush and syrup, that's the mixture/And I'm the shit, like last night's dinner."

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"Man I'm so fucking rich, I don't need to do this/That bitch a bird, Black Swan, Mila Kunis."

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"She quiet, but I had her making mad noise/I bring her out her shell, call her Blastoise."

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"Tabloids dissing, slangin' mud/My bitch a redbone, like Skeletor banging Blood."

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"Get my dick wet, shout out to Michael Phelps/If that pussy nasty, two stars on Yelp."

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"Me and your girl, we make straight porn/Asked me to rain on her, that's a Waynestorm."

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"It's money over bitches, don't touch the boss bank/Yeah my dick long, longer than Shawshank."

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"Pussy so good I might deport it, Kat Stacks/I put it in in her pudding, call it snack packs."

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(It's funny because Lil Wayne views the female reproductive system as a lunchbox treat.)

"Moving kilos by the block: Metrics/I got lines around the block: Tetris."

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"Young Moolah baby, y'all some basic virgins/And you could never see us, need a Lasik surgeon."

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"Haters steady hating, they need to stop it though/She put her head to balls, call it soccer goal."

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"Had to sell like 30 rocks, just to pay my mortgage/Life gave me Liz Lemons, so I copped some Tracy Jordans."

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"See them hipster bitches? I be eating them/Make 'em drop the bass, like EDM."

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"They wanna fuck, but should I scorch these bitches?/That's a tough decision, like 4th and inches."

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"Shoot up your watch, call that shot clock/Take your girl and pass the weed, Mookie Blaylock."

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"I ollie in that pussy, then do a kickflip/See the pussy dead, call it Sixth Sense."

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"Y'all don't cell like sickle/And your girlfriend suck the brine out my pickle."

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"When it comes to this rapping shit/It's Weezy F Baby and the F is for flatulence."

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