Very Helpful Study Reveals Countries Where Men Lie the Most About Dick Size

This just in: Men are lying about the size of their members.

March 7, 2017

No one has ever, in the history of men, lied about dick size.

Sorry. That was a lie. Speaking of lies, the holy Bro Biblegot the scoop from SaucyDates.com on how exaggerated penis size claims vary from country to country. And wouldn't you believe the United States is a frontrunner in the race to bullshit?

Canada and India lead the way in modesty, while Australia and the United States are all about heavy exaggeration:

Globally, according to the Saucy team, men boast about their fabricated seven-inch dicks enough to earn a worldwide exaggeration average of 5.6 percent. But not all havers of dicks are lying:

Fair enough. The Saucyreport also recommends that those seeking a reasonable penis "play it safe" with Canada, while avoiding Americans and Australians altogether.

Regardless of the size of one's lying penis, here's another thing to keep in mind: Your cracked iPhone might be sabotaging your chances at intimacy. "Singles don't like people who have a cracked phone, or an old phone, or those who use a clicking sound when typing," Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who helped develop a recent Singles in America study, toldUSA Today last month. "I think we will see more of these taboos as singles are leading the way in expressing new forms of politeness in the technological era."

Also, at least one Republican wants everyone to choose between replacing that cracked phone and procuring health insurance. There is, we can now confirm, no hope in modern life.