The Jokes Are Piling Up After Cop Filmed Sucking on New Oral Drug Test

Cops suck, meme born.

Video via KSTP 5 Eyewitness News

View this video on YouTube

Video via KSTP 5 Eyewitness News

A mid-suckage cop is the latest star of the shitshow known as American policing.

In recent days, footage made the local (and eventually national) rounds in Minnesota showing law enforcement personnel trying out a new oral fluid drug-testing device. The device, billed as being able to detect multiple types of โ€œdrugsโ€ in drivers, is part of a pilot program in the state.

"My hope with this device is, in the future, that it makes the job of detecting and proving impairment more objective and more scientifically sound with more evidence," Colonel Matt Longer of the Minnesota State Patrol claimed in an interview with regional outlet KSTP 5 Eyewitness News last week.

As you probably guessed, weed is considered a โ€œdrugโ€ in the context of this test. Last year, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz signed a bill legalizing recreational weed in the state.

โ€œLegalizing adult-use cannabis and expunging or resentencing cannabis convictions will strengthen communities," Walz said in May, adding that doing so was "the right move for Minnesota.โ€

The aim of the pilot program is to gather data using the spit of drivers who willing subject themselves to the device, meaning participation in the test is not required nor are the results able to be cited if making an arrest, at least for now. Itโ€™s hard to imagine anyone willingly offering up their spit to a cop, but I digress.

At the very least, footage of cops trying out the testing devices for themselves has resulted in some should-have-been-expected acts of mockery, as seen below.

this is a perfect video. the way heโ€™s talking, the way he sucked it, the face he made at the end everything is perfect https://t.co/RCVq0GVGjV

— corn (@courndogs) January 6, 2024
Twitter: @courndogs

is this from Tim and Eric https://t.co/5QN4T5tMRU

— paige (@BonerWizard) January 7, 2024
Twitter: @BonerWizard

Ummm I think I got some drugs on me https://t.co/a1Kxm3nJB7

— Lolo (@LolOverruled) January 7, 2024
Twitter: @LolOverruled

ok he going crazy on it https://t.co/Km4IkagVWk

— baber (@bakerbakerbaker) January 6, 2024
Twitter: @bakerbakerbaker

What a waste but man that gif was worth it

— sergeantpup.bsky.social (@SergeantPup) January 6, 2024
Twitter: @SergeantPup

Another incredible angle via Minnesota Public Radio a few days ago pic.twitter.com/FhpwBuk5cl

— ๐“œ๐“ฒ๐“ด๐“ฎ ๐“‘๐“ฎ๐“ฑ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“ผ (@banjoteeth) January 7, 2024
Twitter: @banjoteeth

On a more serious note, severa critics of the program have argued that implementing drug tests, in general, is an unconstitutional practice. Furthermore, the handling of the program falls squarely under the larger problem of sheer copaganda, examples of which somehow remain ubiquitously parroted even when clearly made up.

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