Image via Complex Original
Social media is often blamed for a host of psychological issues from anxiety to depression. But faulting social media itself overlooks the role you play in your own well-being. No one has a gun to your head forcing you to e-stalk your ex via your friend’s Facebook account because you deleted him/her when you broke up. That’s all on you, boo. Developing better habits when it comes to using social media can make it a legitimately social experience in the best sense of the word.
1. Don’t Look at Social Media Before Bed or First Thing in the Morning
For most of us, simply living our lives means being constantly plugged into the digital world of e-mails, texts, updates and news feeds. Before the incessant orchestra of rings, pings and vibrations begin, give yourself a few minutes to physically orient yourself and wake up into the real, tangible world around you. Look out your window before you take a deep dive in your Instagram feed. There’s a sun and a sky out there, and it’s more wondrous and inspiring than any #motivationmonday post could ever be, I promise.
Same thing applies when you’re going to bed. People used to have to do a quite a lot of legwork to get into bed with you; now we’re getting under the sheets with the entire virtual world. Beyond the fact that looking at a screen before bed can seriously mess with your sleep, it can work a number on your head. Sleep is like detox for your brain, so don’t get high on likes and faves when it’s time to go to bed. Recharge your mind (and your devices).
2. Delete Your Ex
Back in the day, if you wanted to check up on an ex discretely, you had to beg a friend to do a driveby passed his/her place, while you laid flat in the backseat. As insane as that may sound, it’s just as cray cray as keeping 24/7 tabs on your former boo via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Foursquare, and the like. (Don’t tell me you’re better than that, because none of us are.) Out of feed, means out of mind. When it comes to social media and exes, make like Frozen and just LET IT GO. It’s called a “friend request” and not an “ex request” for a reason.
3. Keep Calm and Don’t Add Your New Crush
After a great first date it can be super tempting to digitally consummate a potential relationship with an add or a follow, but DON’T. Before you know it, you’ll be scrolling through vacation photos with his ex from two years ago. But is it his ex? Are they still friends on Facebook? Let’s see…they ARE still friends on Facebook! Are they still hooking up? WHO IS SHE?!?!?!
While some of us of may share a lot of our lives on social media, digital personas are no substitute for personalities. Get to know a person IRL first to provide some context for whatever parts of him or her you may encounter online. Because maybe that wasn’t his ex. It’s his cousin.
4. Become a Virtual Cat Person
Even if you HATE cats, I dare you not to laugh at this video of this cat getting brain freeze: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COGehsaDkM0. And if cats just really aren’t your thing, how about racoons doing somersaults: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohUHWs0gN64. The Internet is abound with adorable animals hamming it up for your viewing pleasure. Seek them out, and maybe even create a folder on your computer for when you need a mood boost.
5. Learn to LOL
You don’t need to go to a standup show to get your laugh on (although I highly recommend it). If your wallet’s a little thin for the 2-drink minimum, get to know your favorite comedians online as well on stage. Many if not most comics have YouTube channels, Twitter accounts, etc. that can be more personal and experimental than anything you’d find in a comedy club or on TV. Adding a little humor to your social media experience can be a welcomed break from engagement ring photos and politically misinformed posts from old high school acquaintances. Your sanity will thank you later.
6. Master the Art of the Block
The block gets a bad wrap, but it exists for good reason. People can turn into digital bridge trolls behind the shield of their computer screens. Comments and posts can go from passive aggressive and rude to downright offensive and inappropriate. If you really want to eliminate someone from your virtual life, sometimes deleting them isn’t enough. Make your social media space a drama free-zone. Blocking is like a digital restraining order that you can invoke at will. If only we could do the same thing in life.
7. Stay Out of the “Following” Section of Instagram
The “Following” section of Instagram is the part of your feed that tells you which photos people you follow have liked, or which accounts they’ve started following. I don’t know what the numbers are on this, but I’d venture to say that at least 50% of breakups are caused by the following: liking a bitch’s photo, following some bitch, that bitch following you back.
Knowledge is not power in this case, it’s a rabbit hole of assumptions and useless, yet emotionally triggering information. It’s too easy to read into someone’s social media activity and draw your own conclusions. Basically, mind your own business. If you’re looking for a new account to follow, stick to the “Explore” page.
8. Don’t Drink and Tweet
Bartenders should really get in the habit of taking people’s phones along with their keys when they’ve had a few too many. Trolling social media under the influence can lead to some pretty embarrassing blunders. You don't want to wake up after blacking out, only to relive last night's mistakes via your drunken ramblings across Twitter and Facebook. At best, you'll look like a hot mess. At worst, you could wind up posting something that could threaten your closest relationships or even your job. So stay off the sauce when you’re online.
9. Don’t Forget to Share a Status Update IRL
Social media makes it especially easy to keep in touch with long-distance friends and family and other special people in your life you with whom you wouldn't otherwise be able to maintain a relationship. However, when it's so easy to keep up with each other online, sometimes meeting up in person feels redundant.
Make sure to make some time to meet up with the friends and family you're fortunate enough to be able to see IRL as frequently as you can. Also, don't share absolutely everything you do, eat, and see on social media. Save some topics for conversations to be had face-to-face.
10. Use Social for Good, Not Evil
Social media is a lot like nuclear energy. When used correctly, it can elevate humanity; but in the wrong hands, it’s (social) suicide. All of us carry the responsibility of behaving ethically online, but not all of us post and engage responsibly. It’s not about donating to every KickStarter or being a virtual Mother Teresa. However, it would serve us all to look at social media as an opportunity to raise awareness and start discussions on issues that really matter. Unless you’re a public figure, very rarely would you otherwise have the opportunity to communicate with a mass audience. The truth is news breaks faster on Twitter than it does on CNN. Social media has democratized the experience of having a political and social voice. Speak up!
11. Give a Little
The Internet has become ground zero for budding artists and performers of all types. Even if you don’t fancy yourself to be the next Bieber (ok, REALLY bad example, but you get the idea), chances are you know at least a handful of people online trying to get a project or career off the ground. Your likes and shares mean the world to them and all it takes is one click. In some very small way, you’re helping make someone’s dreams or a reality, or at least encouraging them. If that doesn’t make you feel just a little warm and fuzzy, may I suggest a cat video from tip #4?
12. Do It For You
Stop focusing on things like followers and likes, unless you’re a business looking to satisfy a bottom line, this is some high-school level shit and means next to nothing. Sure it’s great to share your interests and activities with your friends, but considering how much time many of us spend on social media, we ought to curate the experience to make it as positive and enlightening as possible. Follow and add people with as much caution as you would taking a new friend. Seek out content that adds something to your life, because if it doesn’t, chances are it’s probably taking something, like YOUR TIME, away.