According to The Courier, a senior citizen in Waterloo, Iowa reacted to a situation in which his debit card was declined by pulling out a gun and shooting up a parking lot of a strip club. That senior citizen, 67-year-old James Allen Wells, then reportedly led campus police from the University of Northern Iowa on a chase before it ended, abruptly, with a minor car crash.

Obviously Wells was arrested, and he was charged for a lot of things, including: carrying weapons, two counts of second-degree criminal mischief, five counts of reckless use of a firearm, two counts of assault on a peace officer and one count each of eluding, reckless driving, interference while armed and also fourth-degree criminal mischief.

The Courier, citing court records, says Wells was at the club around 11 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 15. The impetus for his alleged reckless dickishness was his debit card getting turned down after he got a private dance (yes, it says after). At that point he allegedly left the building, drew a revolver out of his waistband, and blasted five shots into vehicles in the place's parking lot. 

In a bit of extreme detail that'd make Florida crime beat writers proud, The Courier reports, "One bullet hit [a] Dodge Durango in the rear window, a Chrysler Town and County was hit in the tailgate by a bullet and lodged in the back seat, and other bullets struck a Chevrolet Impala’s driver’s side door and windshield and lodged in the dashboard."

After Wells left, he came to the attention of UNI police who tried to get him to pull over for speeding. That resulted in a short chase that concluded when he hit a curb, which rendered his car useless. After leaving the vehicle, he is said to have struggled with the arresting officers, causing one of them to injure their hand during the arrest.

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