The transcripts of calls between Donald Trump and Mexican President Enrique ​Peña Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull have been released, courtesy of The Washington PostThe calls were made shortly after Trump's inauguration and largely revolved around immigration. The comments Trump made to the leaders were bizarre and unsettling. Perhaps made even more bizarre and unsettling because of how common it is for Trump to make bizarre and unsettling comments. It is all very bizarre and unsettling.

Rambling to President Peña Nieto on Jan. 27, Trump confusingly remarked, "We have the drug lords in Mexico that are knocking the hell out of our country. They are sending drugs to Chicago, Los Angeles and to New York. Up in New Hampshire—I won New Hampshire because New Hampshire is a drug-infested den—is coming from the southern border." 

In the above quote, Trump seems to say that he won New Hampshire because citizens of the state are all addicted to drugs and unable to make sound voting decisions. What?


In any case, Trump has been adamant about Mexico paying for the extension and construction of a border wall. Mexico, unsurprisingly, has said time and again that they will not pay. Trump, deeply hurt by this, pleaded with and threatened the Mexican president to stop telling the media that his country would not pay for the construction. “You cannot say that to the press,” Trump said multiple times. "If you are going to say that Mexico is not going to pay for the wall, then I do not want to meet with you guys anymore because I cannot live with that,” Trump pouted.

Peña Nieto was unwavering, saying, "My position has been and will continue to be very firm, saying that Mexico cannot pay for the wall."

The Jan. 28 call to Australian Prime Minster Turnbull went no better. "I have had it," Trump said. "Look, I spoke to Putin, Merkel, Abe of Japan, to France today, and this was my most unpleasant call." The two went back and forth over an Obama administration agreement that would allow 1,250 refugees to come into the U.S. Trump did a little bragging, because why not: "I am the world’s greatest person that does not want to let people into the country," he said. "And now I am agreeing to take 2,000 people."

Trump proceeded to sweepingly assail the character of immigrants, which he often does. But then he mentioned an interesting group of people he hasn't addressed before—the "milk people."

"I hate taking these people," Trump began, referring to immigrants. "I guarantee you they are bad. That is why they are in prison right now. They are not going to be wonderful people who go on to work for the local milk people." Who are the milk people, you ask? Are they a secret society hoarding cartons of milk for the coming milk apocalypse? The protagonists of an ancient tale? Alas, it seems Trump was just referring to U.S. dairy farms. That's flat-out boring, so the good people of Twitter had other theories:

Though the calls had been previously reported, this is the first time the transcripts have been made available in full. The White House has not commented.