Church, in my experience, was always excruciatingly boring. But then I tried weed for the first time and never went back. Weed, it turns out, is the opposite of boring. Turns out an Indiana resident had the same idea. The 74-year-old man has been accused of lacing church attendees' cookies with the holiest of substances (weed).
Brian Jones has now been charged in connection with the May 2016 incident, the Indy Star reported Monday. Jones allegedly provided very special cookies to the congregation at St. John's the Apostle Catholic Church in Bloomington, cookies which were innocently consumed and resulted in six people hitting up the emergency room with cool symptoms like "sluggishness" and not-so-cool symptoms like "nausea."
Though initially unaware they had just 420 blazed it by way of some hopefully delicious edibles, congregation members reportedly told local authorities the cookies tasted "saltier" than usual. At the time, Jones confirmed to police he had prepared the treats Saturday evening and shared them with church pals Sunday morning. But Jones, according to the Star, claimed he "didn't know anything" about any additional substances being added to the recipe.
After Ellettsville police got a search warrant and took a closer look at Jones' residence, they reportedly found a pill bottle containing capsules full of a "brown, oily substance." That substance tested positive for weed. Jones later turned himself in after an arrest warrant was issued, the Star said Monday. He now faces preliminary charges including possession of hash oil and criminal recklessness.
God did not immediately respond to Complex's request for comment.