Father’s Day Fits for All the Dads

Illustrations via Somehoodlum.

Father's Day is around the corner, and if you’re stumped on what to gift the old man, you're not alone. Moms get breakfast in bed—which is ironic considering crumbs in the bed are often their arch nemesis. But what do dads get? A tie? Socks? Not all dads wear ties, you know. And socks are the epitome of a basic gift. Why not get him a present that aligns more with his identity… and has him looking fly, in the process?

To help make your job a little easier, we've scoured the interwebs to assemble some fresh fits (so fresh that you may want to snag a few of the items yourself) for six types of dad that exist in the wild. Your pops probably falls somewhere in between these archetypes—or is a combo of a few—so definitely mix and match gifts, according to his tastes and your budget. Peep our favorite pieces below.

We’re all guilty of telling punny “dad jokes” from time to time, but your father should be tried at The Hague for his crimes against comedy. You and your siblings can practically anticipate the (old, bad) joke your dad whips out at the various family functions. But every once in a while, at say, a Thanksgiving dinner or a Bar Mitzvah, he’ll tell a joke so perfectly ridiculous that you’ll shoot Manischewitz out of your nose.

Your father is a goofy man, so why not reward his silliness with an outfit to match his personality? A Looney Tunes T-shirt, an actually cool fanny pack, and some Jerry Seinfeld jeans, all paired with tie-dye Abe Lincoln socks, should draw enough attention that you can stave off the, “Have you ever heard the one about…” for a bit. Plus, a confidence upgrade in the form of a chic yet understated BOSS Grand Prix Watch may just turn him into the stoic, quiet type.

Threads To Cop For Pops:

1. Paradis3 Kriss Kross T-Shirt, $40. Available at Dover Street Market.

2. Asics Gel-Mai Knit, $150. Available at Kith.

3. A.P.C. Petit Standard Jeans, $220. Available at A.P.C..

4. Yeezy Season 5 Half-Zip Windbreaker, $330. Available at Kith.

5. Alyx Black Small Leather Backpack, $900. Available at SSENSE.

6. 200 Needle Socks Presidential Party, $16. Available at Stance.

7. BOSS Grand Prix Watch, $395. Available at Macy's.

We all know there are attractive fathers out there, but rarely do we stop to think, “Is my dad… hot??” Here are some questions to help you determine that. Did your female friends in high school always want to come over to your house? Have your teachers, babysitters, and coworkers ever asked about your dad a little too frequently? Does your dad have a motorcycle, vintage car collection, rock band, woodworking hobby, or rugged charm? Well, sorry to tell you, somebody’s dad has to be the hot one... and it’s yours! But don’t worry, that’s who you got your dashing good looks from!

This Father’s Day, say thanks to the man who gave you that jawline with gifts that express “Dad! Hell yeah! We’re hot!” like a thin, fancy T-shirt, a gold chain, and some Balenciaga Triple S sneakers—the ultimate “dad sneakers” for the only real-life dad that can pull them off. And, since your pops already looks like Idris Elba, it seems insulting to get him a timepiece any less slick than the BOSS Talent Watch, a fancy black and rose-gold number.

Threads To Cop For Pops:

1. Comme des Garçons White Long Sleeve Basic T-Shirt, $37. Available at SSENSE.

2. Acne Studios Canada New Scarf, $180. Available at Totokaelo.

3. Lauren Manoogian Cashmere Felt Crown Beanie, $184. Available at Lauren Manoogian.

4. BOSS Talent Watch, $295. Available at Macy's.

5. Balenciaga Triple S Sneaker, $895. Available at Totokaelo.

6. All Blues Gold String Necklace, $240. Available at SSENSE.

7. Nudie Jeans Indigo Skinny Lin Jeans, $195. Available at SSENSE.

Your dad is a bauce, and while this isn’t why you love him, it certainly doesn’t hurt. For Father's Day, give a little something to the man who direct deposits affection right to your heart. Try a 3-piece HUGO suit for the #DadBoss in your life because CEO has three letters and vests are dope. Plus, he’ll think of you whenever he looks at the Il Bisonte leather notebook you got him. Bonus points if you *DO NOT* draw a, well, lewd cartoon on a random page to make him laugh during an important meeting. Cufflinks with chubby little silver businessmen will encourage him to take some time away from the office, lest he start looking like one of the caricatures on his wrists. Finish it off with a silver and blue BOSS Magnitude Watch, so when he rolls up his sleeves for a long night at the office, there’s still a piece of #DadBoss right there on his wrist to remind him of you.

Threads To Cop For Pops:

1. HUGO Italian Virgin Wool 3-Piece Suit, $945. Available at HUGO.

2. Jil Sander Thursday Shirt, $750. Available at Totokaelo.

3. Dries Van Noten Leather Derby Shoes, $813. Available at Totokaelo.

4. Deakin & Francis Business Men Cufflinks, $530. Available at Barneys.

5. BOSS Magnitude Watch, $295. Available at Macy's.

6. Il Bisonte Notebook in Cowhide Leather, $125. Available at Il Bisonte.

7. Colonia Russa After Shave Lotion, $65. Available at Santa Maria Novella.

The man that tre flip nose manuals to the dinner table definitely deserves cool Father’s Day gifts. He taught you how to skate, captured your first tricks on film… or maybe you didn’t inherit his skating genes at all. Either way, why not give him fits that modernize his skating heyday look? Even if your dad doesn’t skate but is just your number one fan, an Alien Workshop T-shirt with some Supreme boxers, work pants, and a dad cap will help him blend in seamlessly at the skatepark for a father-son tallboy date.

Threads To Cop For Pops:

1. Noah NYC Adjustable Work Pant, $198. Available at Noah.

2. Nike SB Blazer Low Men’s Skateboarding Shoe, $75. Available at Nike.

3. Alien Workshop OG Logo Tee, $22. Available at Labor Skateshop.

4. Opening Ceremony OC Fanny Pack, $95. Available at Opening Ceremony.

5. Dan Lu Danlu Socks, $18. Available at Stance.

6. WeSC Hans Palm, $38. Available at Wesc.

7. Supreme/Hanes Boxer Briefs, $36. Available at StockX.

Soccer moms somehow get all the credit, yet it was dad who woke up early every Sunday, put on short shorts, and coached your little league soccer team, rain or shine. Sure, he may have known next to nothing about strategy, but boy did he give you that extra playing time. Reward him for his nurturing nepotism with some soccer threads fit for a daddy. A Gosha Rubchinskiy x Adidas soccer jersey has no team logos, so when his World Cup pick inevitably loses, he can flip-flop without having to buy any new gear. A Raf backpack is big enough to fill with orange slices for the team and still have room for some beers to share with the other soccer dads.

Threads To Cop For Pops:

1. Gosha Rubchinskiy x adidas Jersey T-Shirt, $79. Available at Dover Street Market.

2. Gosha Rubchinskiy x adidas Hooded Sweatshirt, $142.80. Available at Dover Street Market.

3. Off-White Syringe Sweatpant Melange, $389. Available at Union Los Angeles.

4. Adidas Superstar Foundation Shoes, $80. Available at Adidas.

5. Proraso Shaving Cream, $9.50. Available at Amazon.

6. Raf Simons Black Eastpak Edition Padded Backpack, $155. Available at SSENSE.

7. Super Silver & Pink Ideal Sunglasses, $225. Available at SSENSE.

He’s had it all: the five-finger toe shoes, Google Glass, a messenger bag with a solar panel to charge his TWO phones. He either works in tech, or he’s obsessed with it, but neither category usually bodes well for his fashion sense. Luckily, since the emergence of “health goth” in 2014, menswear has been nudging toward the tactical; 2018’s techwear trend, featuring dad-friendly fabrics like nylon and GORE-TEX, shows no sign of abating.

How about getting your dad an Our Legacy bag, slightly less bulky than his choice but in a fabric he can understand. Likewise, the sweatshirt—a techie staple—has seen a major upgrade in recent years. With nearly every major fashion house offering its own take on the humble hoodie, switch it up with an Eckhaus Latta crewneck. Finally, the BOSS Ocean Watch is a total swag upgrade from your dad’s geeky smartwatch, ditching the nerdy for the classy while retaining a silver, angular look your dad will recognize.

Threads To Cop For Pops:

1. Eckhaus Latta Lapped Longsleeve Dove Grey, $185.00. Available at Eckhaus Latta.

2. Raf Simons Replicant Ozweego Sneakers, $273.00. Available at Y-3.

3. 032c WWB Hunting Pants, $185. Available at Opening Ceremony.

4. Our Legacy Black Valve Crossbody Bag, $265. Available at SSENSE.

5. Rick Owens Rhodoid Battery Phone Charger, $250. Available at Farfetch.

6. Andy Wolf Ojala Sunglasses, $350. Available at Opening Ceremony.

7. BOSS Ocean Watch, $195. Available at Macy's.