The Best And Worst Dressed (And Most Heavily On Drugs) At The 2015 Met Gala

Listen, the Met Gala is one of the ritziest things in existence. It's a bunch of 1 percenters getting together for something. This year, apparently, the theme was for the opening of the China: Through The Looking Glass exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, so that meant attendees tried to dress up in relative Chinese garb. And you already know what that means: Guests either avoided the theme altogether to deter from being a problematic culture vulture or they went way full cultural appropriation aka kinda racist. Either way, it all makes for some great red carpet fashion commentary. The guest list was stacked with A-listers from top to bottom (read: Illuminati) and we left no stone unturned. From dragons to beading to silk, all the stereotypical Asian design details were there, so let's get to sonning.

[Photos via Fashionista and The Cut]

Miley Cyrus

Miley dressed like Madonna circa 1985. This is your brain on way too much molly.

Madonna

Madonna dressed like Miley Cyrus circa 2045. Initiate Drake face.

Lady Gaga

Gaga is one of the few celebrities that can go the distance with a dress code. While it kind of looks like a Tron light cycle match on her coat, it also sticks with the theme and looks fucking crazy. So, yeah, spot on Gaga.

Cara Delevingne

I'm so down with the pantsuit movement, but I don't think I'm down with the Bar Mitzvah temporary tattoos. It's kinda like those wildy corny sleeves with fake tattoos on them.

Cher

If you are painfully unaware, Cher has one of the best Twitter accounts in history. Based on the strength of that, the song "Life After Love" and this look, she's a human existence hall of famer.

Reese Witherspoon

I hope everyone is seeing the ads for Hot Pursuit with Reese and Sofia Vergara because for as many bricks as Reese puts up on the screen, she's never laid a brick on the red carpet. Just like how I've never told a lie.

FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson

Pattinson shows up with fiance who just so happens to be one of the baddest chicks in the game right now and he decides to go with the impotent bolo-bow-tie thing. Come on, fam.

J.Lo

I mean. What. Do. You. Want. Me. To. Say?

Justin Bieber

This is a fucking legendary look. I don't care what anyone says. Bieber could have the most punchable face in the world, but the swaggy dragon Balmain with the offset shirt placket is fire despite how obvious this look is based on the night's theme.

Kendall Jenner

She wanted to be known simply as "Kendall" a few months back. Remember that? I think she's actually attained that status now. Haters dismissed. Out here looking like a rich guy's Real Doll™.

Emma Roberts

No matter how famous you get, they'll always be after your lucky charms.

Amal Clooney

Will those salsa dancing emoji jokes ever get old? YES.

The Olsens

Mary-Kate and Ashley looking like they just stepped out of the crypt with the secret to what every celebrity wants: to remain relevant forever. Goth queens.

Chloe Sevigny

Do I even gotta say it? Easily the most heavily on drugs. For sure. It's like a pirate got in a fight with a geisha (YES, I KNOW GEISHAS AREN'T CHINESE).

Chloe Grace Moretz

The other Chloe also didn't have the best time. This is kind of like a tuxedo dress aka this shit is BEAT AF.

Janelle Monae

Janelle is always dependable. This is like a tuxedo dress too, but complete with a cape aka this shit is FIRE AF.

Solange

I really want to know how this dress is made because it looks like a fucking wormhole that the spaceship from Toonami would fly through and show you all the dopest anime shows after school.

Selena Gomez

Post-Bieber life must be rough, fam.

Kris Jenner

Michael Jackson's dead body mixed with Prince's ageless body and Kylie's secret contouring makeup secrets have literally turned the world's foremost stage mom into a completely new race. This is what the future of America looks like.

Kerry Washington

She had her moment as America's darling, but at the last few big events, Kerry has dropped massive bricks on the red carpet. This is the latest. She looks like Majin Buu in Fat Buu form. Yes, I did just drop a Dragonball Z reference into this red carpet wrap up. Where else do you get high-level cultural commentary like that? Nowhere. Worst dressed for sure.

Rihanna

Iconic. And designed by a Chinese designer! So not only is it an incredible flex, but it's also in line with the theme. Only Rihanna. An egregious study in flexistentialism. Clearly, she doesn't give a fuck about your dreams or memes.

Allison Williams

It seemed that everyone just interpreted the Chinese theme as an excuse to wear red. Allison Williams is, as always, the most bland and basic example.

Anne Hathaway

But Anne Hathaway showed up looking like she bought a "sexy C3PO" costume for a last minute Halloween party. I think I'm down though?

Alicia Keys

This was one of my favorite looks on the carpet. I have little to no reasoning for that, but the artful juxtaposition of what is basically a tutu with the super structured jacket just does it for me. Against all odds, Swizz somehow won.

Jennifer Lawrence

I think JLaw pulled a Ross in the spray tan booth because she came out looking a tad bit burnt.

Sarah Jessica Parker

*After 20 minutes of very loud screaming, SJP finally goes Super Saiyan*

Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger

Joshua Jackson looks absolutely *thrilled* to be there. Meanwhile, Diane Kruger looked like everyone's crush in high school who was actually super nice.

Anna Wintour

"Florals for spring? Groundbreaking."

"Style Dot Com as an ecommerce site? Ridiculous. But let's do it anyway."

How's my Anna Wintour impression?

Katy Perry

Good fucking god, Katy. You ruined it. The hair, the dress, the everything. Go home, you're drunk on Jeremy Scott's ball sweat.

Ansel Elgort

Homie looks like he took his posing lessons from Cristiano Ronaldo. Stiff as a motherfucking board, fam. Jesus. Lighten up. You're rich.

Andre Leon Talley

More red, but Talley Mane can pull it off because he is the swaggiest of them all. Unimpeachable legend shit right here.

Common

Has Common ever NOT stood like this? Dude looks like a preacher about to drop the hottest sermon of 2015 complete with absolutely zero flow.

Michael B. Jordan

More beading! MBJ isn't afraid to try some flagrant shit when it comes to suiting pattern and it's still subtle enough to work. He and Bieber were on the same wavelength, but Jordan went slightly more controlled versus Bieber's all turbo everything life mantra.

Adrien Brody

And Brody went more for the middle. He looks like the most sinister version of Hugh Hefner. Like, the grotto houses a secret nuclear missile silo or some shit.

Grace Coddington

Straight pajammy'd down as Grace channels her inner Drake and rides the PJ all the way to the best dressed list.

Larry David

"Prettay, prettay, prettay good" - The joke you saw a million times about this fit that is still staggeringly accurate.

Dave Franco

Sweet skinny tux, Dave. Did you steal your brother's ticket or something?

Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn

Athletes can have a tough time getting a suit to really fit them, but Aaron Rodgers got it down pat here with the peak lapels and slight break in the trousers. Now, if only he could shake off that weird Olivia Munn-shaped thing clinging onto him for dear life.

Usher

The cane is too fucking much. Maybe it's to distract from the boot he has on? I'm down as fuck for the jacket though. I'm always afraid of buttoning the lapel on my jackets, but it looks very cool if you can handle it.

Denise Huxtable and Lenny Kravitz

Lisa Bonet looks like she just got out of a colonial village where time stands still and Lenny Kravitz is dope.

Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union

DWade seems to have come to his senses after he got absolutely panned for wearing manpris a couple years ago. But now he has a puddle of fabric at his feet. Thankfully, Gabrielle Union hasn't aged a day in that same period of time.

Kim and Kanye

For some reason, the trend, aside from red, was to just wear basically nothing, evidenced by J.Lo, Kim here and Beyonce. Kanye showed up in velvet (his new red carpet maneuver), showing George Costanza that it is socially acceptable to drape yourself in it.

Beyonce

My imagination is not very active. Fortunately, it doesn't really need to be right here. If you read through all of the tweets yesterday about this outfit, you'd actually spend 3,891 days on Twitter, which tells you all you need to know about Twitter's relationship with their Queen B.