The 20 Women You Should Date In Your 20's

Think of your twenties as a carousel in which you are leaping from beautifully adorned filly to filly as A Tribe Called Quest plays on the calliope. FYI, your thirties are some ride where everyone throws up and they have to hose everything down before you get on. Let’s get to dating!

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.

A Girl Who Is In An Art Collective

It’s practically required that you date some girl whose ideal Saturday involves dressing up like a demented Queen of Hearts and running around demanding in a British accent that you call her “Queen Bitch.” She no longer pops molly, she tells you, “because I prefer other American Girl Doll amphetamines.”

A Girl Who Doesn't Own Any Books

“Mostly I read fashion blogs,” she tells you when you first meet. So now you don’t have to worry about only ever looking at the pictures in magazines.

A Girl Who Owns Too Many Books

A pedantic woman who is always incredulous—“You’ve never read the original copy of this book that I just made up because I lost my train of thought?”—will totally hook you up with a bookshelf that will impress all subsequent paramours.

A Girl Who Has Eaten Three Hotdogs In A Day

Like, a woman who has eaten three hot dogs in a day, for example. Come to think of it, you really shouldn’t be dating any girl who hasn’t eaten three hot dogs in a day.

A Girl Who Is A Tornado

Generally speaking, a relationship should bring you joy, but at least once you should be left completely decimated by a disastrous woman who looks interesting from a mile away until she starts eating every dog and mailbox in her path.

A Girl Who Can Tell An Embarrassing Story In An Insanely Charming Way

This probably goes for any woman you date to be honest. If she can make her lamest moments look cool, she’s probably for you or someone like you, but with better hair.

A Girl Who Is Type A

She always says the right thing and she always looks a little too tidy, but she also never understands your jokes and makes you feel sort of embarrassed about everything associated with your existence. Type A is probably not your type, but give it a whirl so you can say, “Yo, I gave it a whirl.”

A Girl Who Doesn't Dress As Well As You

As Kanye has taught us, this is the secret to procreation.

A Girl Who You Met While Traveling

Don’t you want to sit in bed with some girl who will spoon feed you Vegemite?

A Girl Who Will Eat Junk With And Watch DVDs With You

Speaking of sitting in bed, you should definitely have a relationship in which you just sit in bed eating General Tso’s chicken and watching movies. End it once you’ve finished The Thin Man series.

A Girl Who Is Obsessed With Her Job

Some career-driven crazy is a totally necessary entry. Maybe she will be like Linda Fiorentino in The Last Seduction! Look for a girl who works in management consulting, which are two words that sound like one larger, more meaningless word when used together. Those gals know their way around a spreadsheet.

A Girl Who Is A Trust Fund

“What is that?” she asks, when you pull out a five dollar bill. “I’ve never seen that before!

A Girl Who Is A Fashion Blogger

What is the world like when tens of thousands of thirteen-year-old girls follow you on Instagram, chomping at the touchscreen bit to type, “FIRST!”? I bet it’s like this: “Actually, can you get out of this shot? I get more likes when you’re not in the photo.”

A Girl Who Is Too Good For You

She is smart and charming and more talented and smarter than you, plus all your friends are in love with her. Sounds horrible.

A Girl Who Is Normal

She uses more than one hashtag on Instagram (#food #fashion #friends). She’s “craving Chipotle.” She doesn’t know what #menswear is, and when you show her #starbucksdrakehands, she says, “If someone sent me that, I would think it was weird.” One day she asks, totally casual, “Did you know there’s, like, a beer garden in the Meatpacking District?” It’s sort of quaint, almost refreshing after that seemingly endless string of hustling to look smart and cool enough, of pretending to smoke cigarettes, of wearing belted cardigans, to send texts that say, “Hahah that’s funny.”

A Girl Who You Have Nothing In Common With

You say potato, she says “Fuck off, this is vintage Fiorucci.”

A Girl Who Is A Drummer

The lead singer may have had a cool romanticism in the past, but the female drummer is the new power play.

A Girl Who Is Your Ex's Best Friend

Like your ex, except brunette.

A Girl Who Is Famous

Because you deserve at least one mile of life in the fast lane. You’ll emerge with a heightened understanding of bottle service.

A Girl Who Is Still In College

Hold court at a dirty falafel place at 2am on Saturdays, telling a table of women, “It ain’t all peaches and cream out there, gals. Some of my friends just want to be baristas.”