Behold, The Dick Tie!

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Wow, just when I thought Etsy was about to take the crown for stupid, unnecessary products, Kickstarter kicks down the door and comes in swinging with some fucking dick ties. Yeah, that's a dick tie you're looking at. While in class or at work, you are using the technological miracle that is the Internet to look at strips of silk shaped like dongs. Although I get the whole "ties are really just phalluses already" joke/observation, if you buy this tie you might actually be one gigantic dick of a human. If The Dick Tie meets its goal I'm sure a lot of dudes are gonna get this as a gag gift. GET IT? GAG GIFT. YOW! Also, I foresee a lot of basic bitches wearing these at bachelorette parties. MANHATTAN FINNA TO BE BRIMMING WITH CHICKS DRESSED LIKE THE MADEWELL CATALOG EXCEPT THEY'LL HAVE SILK DICKS TIED AROUND THEIR NECKS. Who's excited?

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