Fedoras are one of those accessories that may look good in old time photos on guys like Humphrey Bogart, and have found new relevance on the heads of characters like the perfectly coiffed Don Draper. But the cold, hard, truth is that you are neither of those men. Of the entire population, there are probably .01% of men who can actually pull off a fedora, and they are all cooler than most of us will ever be. Just don't even try. If you needed more proof, here are 25 Reasons Fedoras Are The Worst Hats Ever.
RELATED: Gallery: 11 Awkward Photos of Dudes in Turtlenecks
RELATED: Hipster or Hip-Hop? 45 Photos of Rappers in Scarves
In a black suit, you'll look like one of The Blues Brothers.
You always have to readjust it when you're in a sweet jam sesh.
They're a bad way to go incognito.
They make you look like a pick-up artist.
You'll instantly regret wearing it in public.
There are better ways to hide your baldness.
They clash with pirate shirts.
No one will take you seriously, even if you're carrying a big knife.
They distract people from your totally sweet beard.
They ruin a perfectly good tuxedo
They're totally impractical to wear with headphones.
No one on OKCupid wants to date the creepy guy at the grocery store.
They never look good with a T-shirt.
They clash with your v-neck and man-bag.
No matter how good you can skate, your fedora will always make you look stupid.
Even if you're a total beast at the guitar, people will assume you're a lamestain because of your fedora.
They don't make your bad piercings or smoking habit more rebellious.
No one wants to play "duck, duck, douche."
They make your wedding look like prom.
They make you look like a vampire hunter.
"3 Fedoraz" would be an ill-advised rap name.
Your bowtie will want to be as far away from it as possible.
"Is this seat taken?" "YES. BY YOUR HAT."
You look like you're on a never ending drug binge.
In short: You'll never look as good as you think you do.
