Hang Tim Duncan's Whole Wardrobe Next to His Jersey
Like his jersey, no one in the NBA is worthy of wearing Tim Duncan’s ‘fits after he retires.
Image via Complex Original
Tall, awkward, and light skinned with an emotionally unavailable hairline. These are all terms I would use to describe both myself and Tim Duncan, who just so happened to be my favorite basketball player growing up. The five-time NBA champion is regarded as one of the best power forwards to ever grace the sport. With today’s announcement of his retirement, he leaves an unforgettable legacy. A big part of this legacy is Duncan's widely criticized, soul-crushing inability (or revolutionary refusal) to dress remotely like he played a goddamn professional sport. A true punk rock visionary. To honor his iconoclastic and sustained rebuttal to stylish athletes everywhere, his wardrobe needs to be hung alongside his jersey in the AT&T Center.
Tim Duncan has about as much swag as a slightly open cabinet. He did to basketball fashion what the American public did to Donald Trump when he first announced he was running for president. He scoffed, and ignored it entirely. And we love him for that, because he unintentionally created something that can never be disingenuously duplicated despite recent flies around the shit (I'm looking at you, normcore). On the court, Tim was fundamental and cold with the poise and methodology of a serial killer but still had moments of ham-handed goofiness that made him likeable. Off the court, Tim dressed like he ate cold fries and played Super Smash Bros. while standing up (you know that one dude). His clothes are imbued with a mystical and highly misunderstood dark power that should and will be studied by alien civilizations thousands of years after the world we know has vanished. For this reason, his steeze needs to be retired, forever. These are some looks that defined the legend, Tim Duncan.
NBA Draft
When: June 25, 1997
Where: Charlotte, NC
On Duncan's draft day he wanted to make a bold statement. He entered the ring and threw a skull-shattering haymaker when he showed up dressed like two midgets posing as an evangelist. A historic first move.
Game day arrival
When: December 1, 2001
Where: Houston, TX
This is a classic. Anytime Tim left the oversized plaid button-up unbuttoned you could hear the snapping of handcuffs around the wrists of horny housewives around the world. He really should've knocked out Martin Lawrence for stealing this look in Bad Boys II. Regardless, +10 charisma points for the flip phone on the hip. Rumor has it he hijacked a minivan filled with bricks of cocaine that night.
All-Star Weekend portrait
When: February 18, 2005
Where: Denver, CO
Imagine how massive a grown man's nuts have to be to show up to take his All-Star Weekend portrait looking like he's auditioning for America’s Best Dance Crew as if he wouldn't kill the 14 people around him breakdancing.
All-Star Weekend arrivals
When: February 19, 2006
Where: Houston, TX
Only Tim Duncan can pull up to goddamn All-Star Weekend looking like Bubbles from The Wire. Look in his eyes. He knows what the fuck he is doing. He looks like a kid that runs like Naruto and not to be funny. Don't get dunked on by this vanilla wafer because yo' ass ain't never comin’ back.
On the bench
When: December 7,2015
Where: Philadelphia, PA
This is a recent photo where we're introduced to a revised Tim Duncan. He lets you think he may have a net worth of $150 million then rocks a blazer that could comfortably fit a rocket launcher inside. Blue-da-ba-dee-da-boo-don't.