Image via Complex Original
Our history discussing the shortcomings of Hypebeasts is well documented. That said, we understand that everyone wants to try and turn over a new leaf. While hypebeasts have some of the most insane habits, 2015 is a new year, and we all want to rid ourselves of some of our less desired traits. From buying habits to touching boobs, these are 11 Hypebeast New Year's Resolutions.
I'll only buy one thing a month.
When It Will Be Realized: July 2015
Shopping is a habit, and controlling your purchases to one a month every month is going to be an exercise in not only willpower, but in decision making. No longer can you cop everything you think you'll want and wear, this resolution involves the ability to sus out what's worth the dough, and jump on that exclusively.
I'll stick to a budget.
When It Will Be Realized: April 2015
This is difficult for normal people, much less someone who spends two or three times their income on clothing that hardly gets worn. This year, hypebeasts will learn how to tighten their belt, even if it's Goyard.
I'll stop buying kicks that aren't even my size.
When It Will Be Realized: January 2015
Being sample size is a blessing and a curse. While sizes 9 and 11 are always going to be included in a drop, they're also some of the first to fall to the terror of sneaker Bots. So even when the shop is out of your size, you're the first one to cop a pair of size 13s because…well, you've just got to have them. Sometimes, it's okay to sleep on a shoe—especially if you're blowing the dough for kicks that you can't fit in, which makes absolutely no sense.
I'll start a trend instead of following them.
When It Will Be Realized: November 2015
We here at Complex are quick to make fun of hypebeasts. Above all else, this stems from their unfailing habit of falling for trend after trend—even if it's going to be deemed nonsensical in six months or less. If a hypebeast is looking to switch it up in 2015, they're going to have to commit to what they like and becoming willing to buck at trend in the name of personal style.
I'll become financially independent from my parents.
When It Will Be Realized: December 2015
Whether they cover a bill or two, or you're a twenty-something basement dweller, financial assistance from your parents ends in 2015. Everyone needs a little help every so often, but if you're regularly asking your parents to cover your utilities, your cable, and half your rent because you balled a little too hard…well, it's time for a change.
I'll finally culture myself.
When It Will Be Realized: May 2015
With classical and and modern art adorning streetwear in every which way, there's no time like the present to educate your ass on the more high-brow things in life. Now, when someone compliments the Caravaggio or Mondrian references on your gear, you can actually know what the fuck they're talking about.
I'll invest in clothing that will give me long-term utility.
When It Will Be Realized: September 2015
With a closet full of half-baked trends and clothing that has a shorter shelf life than milk, a hypebeast's wardrobe is effectively an expensive habit gone wrong. Try saving yourself some money and following the time-tested advice even non-stylish people can benefit to know: invest in re-wearable, multi-use basics for several seasons including (but not limited to) a suit, basic non-graphic T-shirts, and a minimal topcoat.
I'll touch a boob.
When It Will Be Realized: 2017
2015 will finally be the year that you accept that girls are more interested in your personality than in the rarity of my gear. Instead of spending every opportunity talking about your outfit and latest cops when you're on a date, you'll shoot to actually find out what she's into and how she's feeling. Maybe…just maybe…you'll finally top the last time a girl showed you any positive attention—the middle school prom.
I resolve to stop putting photos of myself online that will come back to haunt me.
When It Will Be Realized: March 2015
That last photo you cursed Instagram with turned out to be the latest brick in a long succession of social media fails, and while your low self-esteem ass was hoping to find validation through 11 likes from strangers, the only thing that actually came out of it was several laughs at your expense via the Fashion Bros. This year, you're going to be more judicious with your #ootd shots—the public will appreciate your discretion.
I resolve to judge a man by the content of his character, and not by his #NTdenim.
When It Will Be Realized: January 2015
NTdenim is a cardinal sin to anyone who is even remotely interested in how they appear to the outside world. While the struggle is well documented on hypebeast-addled forums and style sites, guys continue to cop and rock ill-fitting denim. We're all in agreeance that when a guy walks in with fire kicks but parachutes for jeans, he earns at least a little bit of shade. But, in 2015, you'll be striving to look past the superficialities and judge a man on his character, not his terrible outfit choices.
I will realize “because Kanye wore it” is not a valid excuse to buy something.
When It Will Be Realized: February 2015
While we certainly believe that Kanye is one of menswear's biggest style icons, there's also an adage that we'd like to note regarding celebrity style: “just because it looks good on them, doesn't mean it will look good on you.” So, while most guys can easily pull off Alpha Industries bombers, Haider Ackermann sweaters, and his collections with A.P.C., just because Kanye wore it isn't really the best excuse to drop four figures on very advanced gear that might not necessarily work for you.
