W just featured the only squad that might be more mayonnaise than Taylor Swift's cadre of friends. Who could be so legendary? Only Kiel James Patrick and his crew of super preppy, rich people who are, apparently, thriving on social media. Look at the picture above of Eric Dent, nee Frederick Rodgers Dent V, KJP weed carrier, just killing it on his 20th birthday and performing the most Caucasian rap squat of all time. If you didn't know, your 20s are straight grind mode, fam. I'm shaking my head so hard that it literally just popped off my fucking neck.
According to Kiel James Patrick—who must be the most powerful super hero of the White Privilege Justice League because he has THREE names—he and his crew are so popular they're noticed "one hundred times a day" and when they went to a Taylor Swift concert they had to be escorted to their seats by security because they are just that famous. I never thought anything could make me want to go to a Taylor Swift concert even less. According to the prep gawd, he didn't even know who Kylie Jenner was when they posed for a photo together at a Ralph Lauren fashion show. Uh, yeah, okay, bro.
Listen, there are so many fucking quotables in this profile, but really all you need to know is that KJP and his fiancé met while shopping at Ralph Lauren. I'm not sure life has ever imitated art more. Also, rich, white people can make anything super corny. Just when I thought "the summer of the #squad" couldn't get any hotter.