Before you guys sign into Disqus to talk shit about this $1,800 Loro Piana hoodie, walk with me for a moment. I'm a firm believer that you gotta dress for the job you want, not the one you have. So wear this sweatshirt and your dream of doing rails of cocaine off of someone's butts will totally come true. Being the spoiled progeny of a millionaire real estate developer isn't just gonna fall into your lap. Just ask Donald Trump. You gotta work hard for that shit. DRESS THE PART AND THE COCAINE AND PROSTITUTE BUTTS WILL COME TO YOU. You'll end up being the victim of an elaborate Ponzi scheme turned kidnapping, but you won't totally be aware of the situation because, like I said, yayo off of buttcheeks. Also, I would be remiss not to mention the fact that naming this silk and cashmere blend hoodie after Portland makes it pretty fucking clear nobody working at Loro Piana has ever been to Portland.