D-Wade, what the hell are you doing my guy?

Posted this afternoon on his Instagram, Dwyane Wade showed off a picture (along with the rest of his chest) from a recent shoot for Esquire. One look at the photo, and we're wondering if Wade is about to drop the hottest R&B album of 1992. Sure, he explained the bizarre fashion choice through the hashtag form of "If you can't pull it off you won't understand it," but that still didn't stop Twitter from promptly going in minutes after the photo dropped.

Naturally, MC Hammer comparisons were a matter of time:

 

Bruh D-Wade Lookin like he tryin to be MC Hammer or somethin....stop Hammer Time 😂😂💀 pic.twitter.com/cNTL56PGqH

— Jordan (@jkellogg23) August 11, 2015

 

DWADE REALLY GOING HARD TO GET THE LEAD IN THIS MC HAMMER BIOPIC pic.twitter.com/IPbnXW67CG

— The Kid Mero (@THEKIDMERO) August 11, 2015

 

Others thought it was the second coming Kobe Bryant's sartorial travesty for the LA Times Magazine.

 

Damn bruh @DwyaneWade, you just gave us the Heat version of this. A ONE PIECE ROMPER!? Bruhhh, endless slander for us pic.twitter.com/jozB8RdJw4

— gutter trash (@tommy_aether) August 11, 2015

 

Maybe that's why people thought Dwyane Wade was failing miserably at an attempted Zoolander impersonation.

 

looks like a metrosexual villain trying to kill Derek Zoolander RT @KarenCivil Dwyane Wade in Esquire Magazine pic.twitter.com/If9tmWPMlw

— Ahmed/Tastemaker (@big_business_) August 11, 2015

 

@DwyaneWade why you look like the black zoolander? pic.twitter.com/dn139DP8Ug

— Captain America (@Danny18Freitas) August 11, 2015

 

Browse what's just a sample of the onslaught of slander below. In the meantime, let's hope that someone on D-Wade's style team has to answer for this.

 

Looking at that D-Wade pic like pic.twitter.com/liTWvztE8C

— Derval Fletcher (@ALG3nius) August 11, 2015

 

Ya man look like a sassy vampire pic.twitter.com/I2SrxfrGUH

— Grand Daddy Au Jus (@LunchLord) August 11, 2015

 

SMH pic.twitter.com/ZowJjwBQyl

— Vladimir Polyester (@A2daO) August 11, 2015

 

Nigga dressed like a mediocre children's magician RT @KarenCivil: Dwyane Wade feature in Esquire Magazine pic.twitter.com/Kd6HmBpBij

— HOdysseus (@Groptimusprime) August 11, 2015

 

@BSO I already sent this to @DwyaneWade hahaha pic.twitter.com/uocz98i8rE

— Hero In A Half Shell (@Hale_O_Vision) August 11, 2015