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I don't exactly know where to begin. In all honesty, I would prefer being flashed with one of those things from Men In Black that wipes out any and all memories than be writing this right now. I would literally rather start my life over than know about this. Vogue reports that Gucci is entering the wearable tech world. BUT let me finish. It's entering the wearable tech world in a partnership with Will.I.Am. Up until now, Opening Ceremony was one of the few fashion labels on the cusp of a new age thanks to, you know, those fucking varsity jackets that charge your phone and by working with Intel on a smart wristband thing.

I don't know if new Gucci creative director Alessandro Michele, who spent many years in the brand's accessories department, is responsible for this, but I sure hope not. That would not be a good start behind the popular collections he's already designed thus far. Apparently, this thing is going to be a phone on your fucking wrist. Seriously. Looking through the details and functions, it's just an iPhone in wristband form. With Apple announcing its own watch, we're about to be inundated with a shitload of luxury companies offering the exact same thing for a higher-end customer. Though, I guess that's also who Apple's $10,000 rose gold version is for. Most of these will most likely turn out to be garbage, just like this one. It doesn't stop there though. No, the best part is the fact that Will.I.Am claims to have coined the term "fashionology," a word that no one has ever said. According to his statement, he said: "In developing together a device that is both fashionable and technologically advanced, we will create something that is unique in the marketplace. From the very start, I coined the term 'fashionology,' a merging of the worlds of fashion and technology, which is exactly what this collaboration with Gucci represents."

I really just imagine this coming stocked with every Black Eyed Peas song that hit #1 and those being the only sound options for notifications or something. Pricing and release details are yet to be announced, but rest easy, we'll probably not report them to save you time and dignity.

[Photo via Vogue]