Aye, what's really good, dawg? How you been? Good though? Rising and grinding? Dope, dope. So, I'm glad I ran into you at this gallery space/open bar/launch party/clothing store/pop-up thing. Yo, do me a favor and grab a Tsingtao and two of those meatball sliders when the girl comes around again? She's all tight at me because I accidentally knocked her tray over while trying to take a selfie with my boy's mixed media graffiti canvas T-shirt earlier. Whatever. Get a real job, amirite?

Anyway listen, you've been doing some really tasteful shit recently—really growing the brand organically, making it a fucking lifestyle and shit. I see you, playboy. As someone who's been out here grinding for a minute, I have nothing but respect for the hustle. But yo, to take your movement to the next level and make it really pop off, you gotta step your fucking game up. You're probably wondering how to do it, right? I'm gonna tell you. But in the meantime, if you see that waitress, for real, grab me a beer, aight? The thirst, bruh, the thirst. Alright fam, here's a foolproof fire guide on how to build with fam, ya dig? Lessgeddit.

Dave Infante is a writer living in New York City. Read more of his work on Thrillist and follow him on Twitter here.