FUCK, THIS GANRYU JACKET IS LIKE IF A NORTH FACE FLEECE AND A COACH'S JACKET HAD AN AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL HAPA BABY. Do you guys realize how awesome my nonexistent soccer team would be if I could coach them with this jacket on? They would be unstoppable, while still retaining a sense of perspective and good sportsmanship. Like, we would stomp your shitty kids' teams 12-0 even with all our scrubs playing, even with that kid we had to let on the team because his narc parents threatened to call the league commissioner. CELEBRATORY SLURPEES ON COACH, KIDS. YOU MAKE ME SO FUCKING PROUD. I'M GONNA SMOKE A BLUNT AND WATCH FILM TO PREPARE FOR NEXT WEEK. JOEY, REMEMBER YOU GOT SNACKS NEXT GAME. TELL YOUR POPS TO BUY THE ORANGES FROM WHOLE FOODS. MY TEAM DON'T EAT NO POOR PEOPLE ORANGE SLICES AT HALFTIME. ALSO, DUNKAROOS FOR AFTER THE GAME. And that's how you motivate children.
