ComplexCon returns to Long Beach Nov. 6 - 7 with hosts J. Balvin and Kristen Noel Crawley, performances by A$AP Rocky and Turnstile, and more shopping and drops.

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Let’s face it, we live in a culture of brand name recognition. Sequels, prequels and remakes are everywhere you look and make up an incredibly large portion of the movies being released each year. While most of them are played out and unoriginal, they are huge moneymaking powerhouses for studios and aren’t going away anytime soon.

These production companies may be trying to retroactively destroy our favorite movies, but, luckily, I beat them to the punch. I can ruin classics all by myself! The following are 20 of the best fake movie sequel plots that will make The Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 look like the motherfucking The English Patient. Hopefully, these pitches will lower your expectations in the future, so you can continue about your miserable life undisturbed.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.