Christmas is just around the corner and you know what that means: Time for me to ruin all of your favorite childhood memories with a nifty little list. When you find out all the nasty, depressing and sometimes even terrifying things that were going on in these classic Christmas movies, you’re going to feel shittier than the time your parents got you a vibrator because they thought it was a back massager. Proceed at your own risk, weary Internet travelers. You have been warned.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.