Contrary to popular belief, 99.9% of models are not anorexic, and probably enjoy food as much as your fat ass. What they possess and what you lack is a metabolism rate that would make Lance Armstrong blush. One of the more shocking sites for fashion party rookies is the gaggle of models in the corner, reaching over people's heads with impossibly long and svelte arms to grab and then house entire trays of shumai and pulled pork sliders.

Don't be mad just 'cause you really want a fucking crab cake but you can't fit into last year's pants. These people were born to be beautiful. You? Not so much. Besides, unless a model is a Victoria's Secret Angel, chances are her paycheck is as light as she is. She needs all the help she can get. And have you ever seen the catering at a photoshoot? A girl can't live off of veggie platters and coffee, son.