Whether you spent the night chanting "four more years!" while popping bottles of Rosé or crying four more tears into a glass of white zinfandel, the results are in and the only guy who counts Jay-Z as his weed carrier is back for the sequel—Yes We Can: Requiem for a Dream. There's no denying that Barack Obama is probably our nation's coolest President ever, but that's like being the sexiest Pope of all time. It's crazy to think that a guy who at one point lamped this fucking hard is now your basic, every day swagless American dad. It's hard to say if America is on a road to recovery or going to hell in a socialist handbasket, but one thing is for sure—we're all in for another term of pedestrian style from a guy who most certainly can do better. All policy aside, here's what the next four years are looking like.

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