You need to step up your interior decorating, bro. Your apartment is starting to get downright hilarious when compared with your dope ass closet. It’s time for you to diversify your jawnage. Plus, you can’t really impress a girl with your place by opening your closet and saying, “See? Who cares if I don’t have what you would call a ‘traditional’ couch? I have three Junya pieces and some Margiela sneakers. And not the H&M collabo ones neither.” Right, so you actually have a female coming over soon and you need to get your shit together. You have some fancy candles, but do you have some outsider art? No? FUCK. She's gonna think you're a philistine. You could always buy this Huichol beaded skull from LN-CC. It’s scary and cultural all at once like any good piece of art is. That and it looks like a fucking artifact Indiana Jones would discover. And you already know chicks dig Indiana Jones. Tell her you some lie about how you found this skull when you were hiking the Sierra Madres in Western Mexico and stumbled upon a small village and how you stole the skull from this crazy Sun God cult and saved all these orphans they were going to sacrifice and how you narrowly escaped with your life by swinging from a collapsing bridge into an airplane. IF THAT DOESN’T GET YOU AT LEAST A TUG YOU NEED TO STOP DATING GIRLS WHO AREN’T IMPRESSED WITH MATERIAL OBJECTS.
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