Last lesson, our grooming editor, Colonel Cator Sparks, blessed us with all the information required to hang on to our hair follicles. In this installment, Sparky teaches us how to keep our smiles bright white. 

Teeth whitening has become a huge industry in the past couple of years. Whitening clinics have popped up in malls and off Fifth Avenue, whitening strips, toothpaste, gum and mouthwash have all been flying off the shelves. Personally, I think it is all a little too much. People with super white teeth don’t look healthy, they look fake. I don’t need to see some stank-old yellow teeth either but these day-glo grills have got to go.

Here are few ways to keep your teef looking fresh but not reality-star, blinding white:

1. Quit smoking! It's one of the biggest culprits behind nasty teeth.

2. Lay off the red wine. The acid plus color stains enamel and takes a while to clean up. Avoid wherever possible especially the day before a big interview or date. That goes for coffee and tea, too.

3. If you do indulge in the darker beverages, either use a straw or brush your teeth immediately after.

4. Brush your damn teeth. This seems fairly obvious by now but stick to it. Just like mama always hounded you about. Also, yup, floss twice daily too.

5. If you do want a whitening agent, my friend in the modeling industry swears by Listerine Whitening Mouth Wash. He uses this every morning and night and his teeth look right.

6. Crest Whitestrips are also widely known for their efficacy and you can pick them up anywhere. I never could sit quietly with stuff stuck to my teeth without ripping it all off but if you're more patient than I am, by all means give them a whirl.

7. If you're strictly baller status, try GO SMiLE. it's a 30-minute treatment that consists of three consecutive 10-minute light sessions plus whitening ampules. It's $198 a pop and comes with a sci-fi light you stick in your mouth and leave for what feels like forever (10 minutes). Just don't overdo it or you'll look like your girl NeNe Leakes.