The 15 Weirdest Things You Can Buy on the Subway

Things get pretty weird down in the New York City subway, and we're not talking about the good Workaholics kind of weird. The odd people and strange smells stand out the most, but there's another little underground culture that also harvests weird in its own manner. We're talking about the subway gray market. People are constantly trying to suck money out of passengers, and often it's through selling some extremely random items like toilet paper. Click through and let us know if you've ever been pitched these purchases.

This might actually be the most useful thing we've seen being sold on the subway, seeing as those tunnels always smell like a mixture of manure, eight-week-old chicken pot pie, and the worst kind of protein powder. Now, about that whole no smoke in the subway thing ...

For all those times that you can't just say, "hey little mama, let me whisper in your ear," when you're trying to pick up that cutie across the bench.

What do you want? M&M's? Sour Patch Kids? Or maybe the healthier route with real fruit juice, Welch's fruit snacks. According to the middle schoolers selling them, your funds will all be going toward the fund to go to Virginia State.

Here we have a sleazy subway brew that'll get you drunker than a freshman in college on a Thursday night. We know you want to look like Lil Wayne with the syrup, but we always advise against buying drinks pre-made by strangers that somebody is selling in Styrofoam cups.

The time spent in a subway is perfect for reflection. You also see see enough strange things to really question yourself as a person. So, when you're questioning you religion, after you just saw a group of eight foxy young vixens dressed up as burlesque dancers for Halloween, one of those weird dudes might swoop in with the line, "scientology encourages you hitting on girls like that." You'd take the book, too.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

It's not Duracell, it's Powercell, and you're going to need about 24 of them to last you as long as the good batteries would go. You know, because

This is our biggest issue with this: we can listen to any of our favorite rappers at any time for free, thanks to this little thing called the Internet. If we want to step into illegal territory, we can even download albums for free! So why in the hell would we pay $5 for your CD, when we've never even heard of you? FOH, SON.

This is actually most sold as a package deal. Those kids with the candy will often have some of these in a separate bag. They don't even have to advertise for these. Everybody knows once you pop, you can never stop.

That advance copy of Oz the Great and Wonderful might sound like a cool idea, but once you pop it into your DVD player and it reads, "unable to read disc," you won't be too happy you gave that random due $5.

Most of the time, these are stale. They're usually also mislabeled with some janky Marlboro color that hasn't even been sold before. It's not like you can smoke underground anyway, so do yourself a favor and just wait to get let a certified seller take your money.

For when you come to your senses after reading the first chapter of the Scientology book.

Wouldn't you rather have that guy pooping in between train cars using some toilet paper, at least, before coming back in?

Tourists: "Honey, you know the subway maps that we've been fumbling around with all week? This fine gentleman right here is using a spray paint can to draw the skyline or the New York Yankees logo! Give him 60 bucks, we can get three."

Are you looking to chomp down on giant, often stale, Spanishs stick slathered in sugar and cinnamon? Fear not, trains like the 1,2,3 will help you step your cultural food game up. Be sure to pay attention to the seller's tip-top saran wrap skillz.