The Race Card: Drunk and "Soiled" NFL Players, Isiah Thomas, & More

ISSUE:

Early Sunday morning, police found Colts' defensive lineman John Gill passed out in a ditch. Police described Gill as smelling of alcohol, disheveled, and soiled. Charges of public intoxication were not filed but Colts President Bill Polian says he plans on sending Gill to rehab.

DARK MAN X SAYS: How typical. In the eyes of the popo, a drunk white man lying in a ditch who shits his pants is just a victim who needs rehab. A drunk black man? A threat to society and public enemy number one.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: C'mon, who hasn't had a drunken night where they've ended up in a ditch and woken up with soiled pants next to their half-naked sister? Uh...except that last part.

COMPLEX SAYS: If dude is doing this during training camp, we could only imagine the Super Bowl fuckery he got into last season.

ISSUE:

Despite his controversial previous tenure with the Knicks, Isiah Thomas has been rehired as a consultant by owner James Dolan. Some NBA sources claim Thomas should be ineligible to take the job because of his current coaching job at Florida International University.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Isiah's been dead to me ever since he had the audacity to question Larry Legend's status as the greatest of all time.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Clown his moves all you want, but Zeke still has an impeccable nose for talent (word to Trevor Ariza and David Lee). Plus: a black man simultaneously holding down two jobs in sports? Can't knock the hustle. Seriously, though: Have the Knicks been any better since he left?

COMPLEX SAYS: If it means Melo's coming to NYC, it'll all be worth it.

ISSUE:

Tiki Barber and his 23-year-old girlfriend (the Today show intern for whom he supposedly left his pregnant wife) did their first interview since the scandal and said the media painted them as bad people by spreading lies and rumors.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Checklist for the modern black athlete: a new whip, a crib for moms, and an upgrade to a white girl. SMH. At least it wasn't a sista he left for this trifey ho.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: I fear for the safety and well being of Miss Johnson—we all know how aggressive those retired black RBs can get.

COMPLEX SAYS: So you lost wifey and your cushy gig at Today for a trifey intern? Tiki, ask yourself: When the money goes, will the honeys stay?

ISSUE:

The NCAA has ruled that all Division I athletes be screened for a genetic sickle cell trait. Some are saying the screening is a form of genetic discrimination towards African-Americans, since the trait is usually harmless and much more prevalent in the black community.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Just another example of 21st century racism: subtle, but obvious to anyone who can read between the lines.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Black people never fail to reach new levels of narcissism.

COMPLEX SAYS: First no taunting, now this. We see you, NCAA. We see you.