Sports

The 10 Greatest Boring Players in NBA History

Celebrating where amazingly unentertained happens.

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From the aerial theatrics of LeBron James and Blake Griffin to the sweet passing of Rajon Rondo to the dominant shooting performances of Kobe Bryant, the NBA is often the most entertaining league to watch. However, when you flip on a game involving All-Star forward Tim Duncan—who happens to be celebrating his 36th birthday today—you cannot help but feel a little empty inside. You know there won't be an abundance of amazing dunks or highlight reel plays, but what you will see is how the game should be played.

To commemorate "Mr. Fundamental" on his big day, we've put together a list of the best players (multiple All-Star selections only) to ever play the game who nonetheless put us to sleep on the reg. You know, the ballers that give artist Bob Ross a run for his money in the "inability to view for too long" category. From the Karl Malone's pick-and-roll somnambulance to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's undefendable (and boring) sky hook, these are The 10 Greatest Boring Players in NBA History.

10. Mitch Richmond

Team(s): Golden State, Sacramento, Washington, Los Angeles Lakers
Years: 1988 - 2002

In his career, Mitch Richmond was the Rookie of the Year in 1989, NBA Champion in 2002 and All-Star Game MVP in 2005. He was even the "M" in a trio of players (along with Tim Hardaway and Chris Mullin) called Run-TMC. But where Hardaway had the killer crossover and Mullin had one of the slickest jumpers in NBA history, Richmond was...solid. Six-time All-Star solid, true. When you think of the best plays of The Rock's career, how many are of the high-flying variety? It's OK, we can wait...

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9. Dwight Howard

Team(s): Orlando Magic
Years: 2004 - present

How can one of the NBA's most solid current players, a guy that's won three Defensive Player of the Year awards, and a dunk contest (for crying out loud) be "boring?" By being as dominant as Howard so often is. Simply put, he looks like he's a 15-year-old playing with the under 12s a lot of the time. If he ever develops (or needs to) any semblance of a perimeter game, he'd instantly vault to the top of the Most Exciting list. Or if we changed the criteria to include off-court fuckery.

8. Yao Ming

Team(s): Houston
Years: 2002 - 2011

Yao might've made a few more (eight) All-Star teams than he deserved to, but there's no question he was a great player. Great, but boring. Even his great blocks were of the "stick your hand up and let the ball run into it" variety. Looking for excitement? Take dude out of the paint and let him play the straight man.

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7. David Robinson

Team(s): San Antonio
Years: 1989 - 2003

David Robinson attended the U.S. Naval Academy before being drafted by the Spurs with the 1st overall pick in the 1987 NBA Draft, and the military background showed throughout his career, from his aircraft carrier flat top to his by-the-book style of play. An MVP, 10-time All-Star, and two-time champ, the Admiral was great—and, when the Spurs played on TV, a great excuse to catch up on those episodes of Friends you'd taped on your VCR. #dontlieyouknowyoudidit #phoebefanclub

6. Joe Dumars

Team(s): Detroit
Years: 1985 - 1999

As a member of the Detroit Pistons and their infamous "Bad Boys" crew, Joe Dumars stood out for being the complete opposite of the rest of his teammates. When Dumars took the court, he just got the job done while exhibiting the type of quiet behavior that made him the first person to receive the NBA Sportsmanship Award, which is known today as the "Joe Dumars Trophy." A six-time All-Star, Dumars proved that basketball doesn't have to be about all the fancy plays and crazy moments. Instead, getting the job done in its simplest form works just as well.

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5. Karl Malone

Team(s): Utah, Los Angeles Lakers
Years : 1985 - 2004

When Karl Malone played the game of basketball, he competed at his own pace. Nothing exemplified that sentiment more than when he went to the charity stripe, With only 10 seconds to release the ball, Malone would take all the time he was given to complete his ritual at the line. During away games, the hometown fans would even start counting down to make sure the former Jazz forward wasn't taking longer than he was supposed to. Ironically, Malone was given the nickname "The Mailman," but eventually, we found out that he was definitely running on snail mail. You know you're boring when you have to invent a "vogue" dunk.

4. Robert Parish

Team(s): Golden State, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago
Years: 1976 - 1997

When former Celtics forward Cedric Maxwell bestowed the nickname, "The Chief," on Robert Parish, it was to acknowledge his attitude, which seemed unaffected by whatever was going on around him. Of course, looks can always be deceiving and as a Hall of Famer and member of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History (an honor given to him in 1996), Parish was effective in his own right. Dull, but effective.

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3. Ray Allen

Team(s): Milwaukee Bucks, Seattle Sonics, Boston Celtics
Years : 1996 - present

Who would you rather have on your squad? Ten-time All-Star Ray Allen. With your life on the line, who do you want taking a three-pointer? Easy, the all-time NBA three-point leader, Ray Allen. Now, who would you actually pay to watch? Jesus Shuttlesworth. 'Nuff said.

2. Tim Duncan

Team(s): San Antonio
Years: 1997 - Present

There's no arguing that Tim Duncan is a Hall of Famer. And he's got a ring each for some of the most exciting players in the game (one for Mr. Drexler, Mr. Barkley, Mr. Miller, and Mr. James). But they don't call him "Mr. Fundamental" for nothing. From his signature bank shot to his slow, methodical post-up game, Duncan has been killing them softly for a decade and a half. That said, even though he isn't the type of player that folks pay top dollar to see out on the court, Timmy just knows how to win—he can put up some solid numbers while putting countless kids to sleep in the process.

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1. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Team(s): Milwaukee, Los Angeles Lakers
Years: 1969 - 1989

Just because you're considered one of the best ballers to ever play the game, doesn't mean that you can't be boring to watch as well. You know the saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar employed it night in and night out. A 19-time All-Star, Kareem used his patented sky hook ad nauseum to defeat his defender. Have you ever played someone online and they attack the glitches in the game just to ensure the victory? Oh, is that you? Well, that's the way it must've been like playing against Abdul-Jabbar. Plus, why learn any new moves when you're too busy getting high off the court too?

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