The Greatest Sh*t-Talking Quotes in Sports History

There are very few people who have ever existed on this planet who have been as good at anything as Muhammad Ali was at boxing. However, Ali himself happened to be one of those people as he was able to surpass his own skill of concussing opponents with his before-its-time-ability to verbally dazzle crowds. Today, which just so happens to be Ali's 73rd birthday, it seemed appropriate to celebrate that expertise by highlighting the legend along with a cast of otherswho've made it their business to entertain us both on the field and through the press. Some call it "bulletin board material." Some call it "classless." But who cares? It's entertaining. Here's the Greatest Shit-Talking Quotes in Sports History.

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Spoken by: Muhammad Ali

Spoken about: Sonny Liston

Line: "Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee...his hands can't hit what his eyes can't see."

There's an argument for him not being the greatest fighter of all-time, but he is easily the GOAT of trash talk. He even released his own spoken word album highlighting his showboating prowess. His most famous of quotes was his "Float like a butterfly..." line that has been parroted from movies to music to...other movies and music. Before it was a thing, Ali was a brash talker and one of the rare dudes (outside of pro wrestling) that understood sports were entertainment, and that trash talk gave us context, whether we perceived that guy as a villain or a hero ultimately didn't matter.

Spoken by: Mike Tyson

Spoken about: Lennox Lewis

Line: "I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, and most ruthless champion there's ever been. There's no one who can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No, I'm Alexander, he's no Alexander. I'm the best ever! There's never been anybody as ruthless! I'm Sonny Liston, I'm Jack Dempsey. There's no one like me. I'm from their cloth. There's no one that can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!"

Mike showed a lot of, um, we guess we'll say "hubris," after knocking out Lou Saverese in just 38 seconds. On one hand, damn, 38 seconds. On the other, it was Lou Saverese. Two years later, Tyson finally got a shot at the champ of the time (Lennox Lewis) who ended up knocking him out in their bout for the belt. Afterward, Mike was decidedly less mouthy saying "He was splendid, a masterful boxer. I take my hat off to him." The quote was significantly more gracious and considerably less cannibalistic. A good combination for any man who's just been humbled.

Spoken by: Kobe Bryant

Spoken to: Barack Obama

Line: "If he calls that number, I'll be sure to pick up after the fifth ring."

Kobe Bryant may be anti-social but don't get it twisted, the man isn't shy. He proved as much, well, a shit ton of times, but one of his best lines came in 2010 whilst visiting the President in Washington D.C. to celebrate the Lakers' second consecutive NBA championship. Obama, a noted Bulls fan, jabbed at Kobe by telling him "Derrick Rose may have your number," not only did Kobe immediately fire back at a dude with an army, navy, air force and a stable of drones at his disposable, but he also kept with the phone metaphor by saying "If he calls that number, I'll be sure to pick up after the fifth ring."

Spoken by: Mike Hart

Spoken about: Michigan State

Line: “I thought it was funny. They got excited. It’s good. Sometimes you get your little brother excited when you’re playing basketball and you let him get the lead. Then you come back and take it from him.”

In 2007, back when Michigan laughed at other people instead of getting laughed at, first-team Big Ten running back Mike Hart referred to in-state rival Michigan State as Michigan's "little brother" in a post-game press conference after the Wolverines overcame a 10-point fourth quarter deficit to defeat the Spartans. Of course, now most everybody has forgotten who Mike Hart is and Michigan State is as relevant as ever, but at the time (for pretty much the last time) it worked. Afterward, first-year MSU coach Mark Dantonio said he "wouldn't comment." But since his team has won six of the last seven games in the series.

Apparently that was his comeback.

Spoken by: Martina Navratilova

Spoken to: A reporter

Line: "Are you still the alternative?"

For some reason, in the eighties, a reporter asked openly gay tennis player Martina Navratilova if she was "still a lesbian." Navratilova flipped it on the guy by dropping the above line. While you might think he awkwardly laughed it off, odds are somebody tone-deaf enough to ask that in the first place probably didn't immediately register the joke, went about his life for three days, and then, whilst trying to fall asleep, shot up screaming "Hey, wait a minute! What the fuck was the supposed to mean?!"

Spoken by: Steve Spurrier

Spoke about: University of Kentucky football

Line: "Kentucky has a heck of a punter, I know that."

University of Kentucky is good at basketball. University of Kentucky is bad not very good at football. University of Kentucky used to be wretched at football. During the "wretched" period, they took a 54-3 spanking at the hands of South Carolina and their coach Steve Spurrier. During the post-game press conference the Ol' Ball Coach was asked about UK and gave a comment that varies depending on whether you're an optimist or a pessimist. After giving the Wildcats the most backhanded of compliments (line above) he followed up by saying the Gamecocks could've scored 70 to 80 points.

Spoken by: Steve Spurrier

Spoken about: University of Tennessee

Line: "You can't spell 'citrus' without 'UT'."

In a world of cookie-cutter coaches, Steve Spurrier is a breath of fresh air. Oh, and also he's almost unanimously hated because people hate fresh air. Back in the day (which we call "The '90s"), the Citrus Bowl had the rights to the second place finisher in the SEC. Steve Spurrier, then coaching Florida, was coming off his fourth straight title in the conference. With his usual bravado he decided to take a shot at the Peyton Manning-led Volunteers, who were perpetual SEC bridesmaids, by saying "You can't spell 'citrus' without 'UT'." Later when Manning opted to return for his senior season, Spurrier followed with "I know why Peyton came back for his senior year: he wanted to be a three-time Citrus Bowl MVP!"

Spoken by: LeBron James

Spoken to: DeShawn Stevenson

Line: "It would be like Jay-Z responding to Soulja Boy."

DeShawn Stevenson called LeBron "overrated," so LeBron called DeShawn Stevenson "Soulja Boy," (kind of, see above). Later on down the road, in need of a job, Stevenson asked LeBron to join the Heat.

Whether or not he was serious is kind of hard to tell.

Spoken by: James Harrison

Spoken about: Roger Goodell

Line: "(He’s) a crook and a puppet, said I was the dirtiest player in the league. If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it. I hate him and will never respect him."

A lot of people don't like Roger Goodell, for example, pretty much everyone who's ever heard of him. But still, nobody (that we can think of) rivals the hatred of the commissioner like that of former Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison. In a 2011 interview with Men's Journal, Harrison was said to say the above quote in response to Goodell and the bevy of fines the commish had collected from him over the years. Harrison also said that had the Steelers not lost to the Packers in the Super Bowl that season, he would've stood at the champions podium with Goodell, leaned over and whispered in the commissioner's ear: "Why don't you quit and do something else, like start your own league in flag football?"

Spoken by: Scottie Pippen

Spoken about: Karl Malone

Line: "Just remember, the mailman doesn't deliver on Sundays, Karl."

Let's set the stage for you: It's Game One of the 1997 NBA Finals, there's 9.2 seconds left, the score is tied at 82, and Karl Malone is about to shoot the first of two free throw attempts. There's no defense to be played, except that of the mind. Scottie Pippen steps up to the league's MVP and reminds him that his namesake may deliver through rain, or sleet, or snow, but not on Sundays. Whether he's thinking about it or not (we like to assume he was) Malone misses both shots. Seconds later, after a timeout, Michael Jordan hits a 20-footer to give the Bulls the 1-0 series lead.

Spoken by: Bill Belichick

Spoken about: Freddie Mitchell

Line: "All he does is talk. He's terrible, and you can print that. I was happy when he was in the game."

To those who don't remember, Freddie Mitchell was a wide receiver drafted in the first round by the Philadelphia Eagles in 2001. While there, he played four unremarkable seasons but was still able to participate in Super Bowl XXXIX 39 against the Patriots.

During those playoffs he fit in a career's worth of trash talk, thanking his hands for "being so good," on PTI (after a 65-yard game where he caught a touchdown on a tip) and then told Dan Patrick that he didn't know anyone in the Patriots secondary by name, only referring to them by (intentionally) incorrect numbers. He also said he "had something" for All-Pro safety Rodney Harrison. Predictably, he finished the game with a single 11-yard catch, prompting Belichick's comment above. A rare verbal haymaker from the normally close-mouthed coach.

Spoken by: Michael Jordan

Spoken to: Dikembe Mutombo

Line: (After telling Mutombo he was going to shoot a free throw with his eyes closed) "This one’s for you (...) Welcome to the NBA."

As a rookie in 1991, on a terrible Nuggets team, fourth overall pick Dikembe Mutombo sent a message to reigning NBA MVP (and champ) Michael Jordan that he would never dunk on him. Jordan predictably countered that he would. Didn't matter when. Didn't matter how. Some day he was going to do it. That night he failed to come through (and it remained that way for nine years) so instead MJ just opted to welcome the first-year center by going all Stevie Wonder at the free throw line just to make a point, or something.

Spoken by: Richard Sherman

Spoken about: Michael Crabtree

Line: "I was making sure everyone knew Crabtree was a mediocre receiver. And when you try the best corner in the game with a mediocre receiver, that's what happens. I appreciate that he knows that now."

The above line is a clarification of the above video. It basically expresses the same sentiment in a much more relaxed manner. Still, Richard Sherman's post NFC Championship outburst was a welcome change from the traditional cliches of "Well [interchangeable] played a good game, you have to tip your hat to [interchangeable] only [interchangeable] can [interchangeable]." On top of that, Sherman's candid response served as a suitable litmus test to figure out which of your Twitter follows had sticks up their asses (in some cases, racist sticks), and which of your Twitter follows had better things to do.

Spoken by: Babe Ruth

Spoken about: Herbert Hoover

Line: (After a reporter pointed out that he made $5,000 more than the president) "Maybe so, but I had a better year than he did."

Herbert Hoover didn't have a real good 1931. The country slipped further and further into the Depression, and he faced a daunting re-election challenge in the year that followed (spoiler: he lost). Babe Ruth, meanwhile, batted .373 with 162 RBI and trounced Hoover (as well as the rest of the league) by smashing 46 home runs.

Spoken by: Shannon Sharpe

Spoken about: The New England Patriots

Line: "I'll call the President. President, we need the National Guard! We need as many men as you can spare! Because we are killing the Patriots! So call the dogs off! Send the National Guard, please!"

Here's Shannon Sharpe explaining to USA TODAY where he first learned to trash-talk and, surprisingly, it had nothing to do with growing up as a boy named 'Shannon':

Lesson learned. If you're different and you're getting picked on, just find somebody else who's even more different and pile on.

Spoken by: Larry Bird

Spoken to: Xavier McDaniel

Line: (After telling McDaniel where he was going to hit the game-winning shot before following through) "Damn! I didn't mean to leave any time left on the clock."

It's embarrassing enough when a guy transparently tells you he's getting the ball, but it's a whole 'nother level of contempt when he tells you where he's shooting from. That was the case for Larry Bird in the waning seconds of a regular season contest between Larry's Celtics and whomever's SuperSonics. Larry told defender Xavier McDaniel where he was going to be and still popped it in his face before immediately lamenting the fact that he didn't sync it with the final buzzer. It gave Larry yet another tale in his distinguished, trash-talk filled career. And it also gave Xavier McDaniel a story to tell, even if the gist of that story was "an opposing player once had so little respect for my game that he told me when and how he was going to beat me, and still did it."

Spoken by: Muhammad Ali

Spoken about: Sonny Liston

Line: "After the fight I'm gonna build myself a pretty home and use him as a bearskin rug. Liston even smells like a bear. I'm gonna give him to the local zoo after I whup him."

What's more degrading: Being a man's rug, or being put in a bear exhibit? Honestly, either answer is acceptable.