Image via Complex Original
Happy Birthday! Amar'e Stoudemire's Top 10 Facials
You already know that Complex is infatuated with facials——that is, er, posterizations, a.k.a. in-your-face dunks—and there's perhaps no player in the NBA more adept at them than Amar'e Stoudemire. The fearsome forward-center, who played eight seasons with the Suns before signing with the Knicks last summer, has made a career out of emasculating any opponent who dares to stand near the rim when he's driving the lane. As this highly entertaining countdown will prove, getting in Amar'e's way is never a good idea. So, on his 28th birthday, we are celebrating by presenting Amar'e Stoudemire's Top 10 Facials. Now go get your wet wipes...
10. Gerald Wallace, Charlotte Bobcats
Date: March 7, 2007
Complex says: Even the announcer had to ask: "What is Gerald Wallace thinking about?" Probably something along the lines of, "I wonder how it feels to hold Amar'e's nuts in public."
9. Stefano Mancinelli, Armani Jeans Milano
Date: October 3, 2010
Complex says: C'mon, a basketball team named after jeans? They deserve to get slammed on.
8. Dwight Howard, Eastern Conference All-Stars
Date: February 17, 2008
Complex says: Yes, Superman—you, too, can get baptized.
7. Stromile Swift, Memphis Grizzlies
Date: April 29, 2005
Complex says: The Grizzlies had to immediately call timeout to get the gunk out of Stromile's eye. That was nasty.
6. Jeff Foster, Indiana Pacers
Date: November 5, 2008
Complex says: Jeff Foster, really?!?! That's like bringing a slow, unathletic white stiff to a gunfight.
5. Adonal Foyle, Golden State Warriors
Date: April 8, 2005
Complex says: Love the homerism of the Warriors announcers: "Shoved off with the free arm." FOH. Don't be mad because Foyle got sonned like Macaulay Culkin.
4. Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks
Date: February 25, 2007
Complex says: No one ever learns. Fuck the charge. Save your dignity!
3. Michael Olowokandi, Los Angeles Clippers
Date: December 20, 2002
Complex says: In just his third month as a pro, Amar'e ethered The Kandi Man's soul, and this clip offers plenty of angles of the utterly humiliating domination. The best part? Marbury's "I just smelled Olowokandi's rotting corpse" face at the end.
2. Richard Jefferson, San Antonio Spurs
Date: February 28, 2010
Complex says: We love how most of Amar'e's facials occur on the road, so all you hear is stunned gasps from the crowd and Amar'e yelling in the wake of destroying another victim.
1. Anthony Tolliver, Golden State Warriors
Date: March 22, 2010
Complex says: If we were Tolliver, we would've just kept walking away...out of the arena...out of the Bay...out of basketball.
