The Most Insane Crimes Committed on Bikes

Crimes can happen anywhere and at any time. There can occasionally be indications of what's going to happen, but most of the time, it's out of the blue. Part of that disguise can come from an unexpecting mode of transportation. Obviously, a car is the first choice for many malicious people, but we've come to learn that bicycles have a pretty serious crime rate, as well. Click thorugh and laugh at out some of the most random and craziest bike-related crimes we've found.

Written by Ian Stroud

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Crime: Theft
Date: May
Location: NY, NY

Citibike has been nothing if not controversial for the City of New York. The bike sharing program got off the ground early this summer. The day before the program began, a bike had already gone missing from a loading truck, proving one and for all, Manhattan is where bikes go to die.

Crime: "Theft"
Date: March
Location: NY, NY

Though no crimes were technically committed, filmmaker Casey Neistat was curious to see how New Yorkers would react to a thief blatantly stealing bicycles in the light of day in busy areas. Not at all, as it turns out. Neistat posted this video (http://nyti.ms/zykzSd) on the Times which shows him using tools like a saw and a crowbar to "steal" his own bike that he had locked there previously. The results are amusing, if not disconcerting.

Crime: Theft
Date: November
Location: Portland, OR

Portland is famous for its residents traveling by bikes, as demonstrated by this delightful Portlandia clip (http://youtu.be/V3nMnr8ZirI). According to lore, parked bikes litter the streets, making them easy targets for theft. In the light of day, with a massive and prominent pickup truck, one couple took it upon themselves to purge the streets of said bicycles. Though it was sloppy, you have to give them credit for the sheer brazenness of it.

Crime: Involuntary manslaughter
Date: March
Location: San Fransisco, CA

Sometimes all the pieces just come together. In this case, take some crystal-clear security camera footage, an internal bike tracker, and an eye witness and you have an open-and-shut case of vehicular manslaughter. In an unfortunate incident, a man riding his bike at 35mph in a 25mph zone struck a 71-year old in San Francisco. This came only months after another local cyclist fatally struck at 68-year old. Maybe we should all just slow down in San Francisco.

Crime: Theft
Date: February
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Before he came out as a doping fiend, Lance Armstrong was Deity Numero Uno in the world of cycling. Owning an Armstrong bike (even just the one he used for time trials) would be like getting a strand of hair from Samson. Armstrong, ever the savvy social media users, announced the theft via his Twitter account.

Crime: Reading "Bomb" in an Airport
Date: March
Location: Memphis, TN

Band names often become a contest to see who can be the crudest or most controversial. Near the top of that list must be This Bike is a Pipe Bomb, a folk-punk band from Pensacola, FL. Cut to Memphis International Airport, a pilot saw a bike with a sticker for the band on it, took it literally, and the entire airport was evacuated. The band likely never assumed that their biggest contribution to society would be that time they got a major airport to evacuate for a day.

Crime: Public nudity
Date: July
Location: Minneapolis, MN

Every town seems to have a naked bike race; they're a quirky and fun way to express yourself. However, most towns would agree that it's not appropriate for a 42 year old man to "train for the naked bike race" at 6am near a busy street. In the words of one eyewitness, "It clearly looked intentional". Our advise: keep it covered until the race actually begins.

Crime: Vandalism
Date: July
Location: France

In an ode to the Looney Tunes cartoons of a bygone era, a malicious spectator placed tacks on one of the race's steepest climbs, causing roughly 30 competitors to blow flats, and one to crash. What may have seemed like a silly prank cost unknown amounts of damage and possibly changed the outcome of the race entirely.

Crime: Vandalism
Date: March
Location: Howick, NZ

Stop anything else you're doing right now and WATCH THE VIDEO. IT"S GLORIOUS.

Crime: Vandalism
Date: June
Location: Ostersund, Sweden

We've all been there; something goes off and you need to, ahem, get off, right now. For most of us, though, a bike isn't the trigger. A Swedish man isn't so lucky. He went on a tire slashing/struck-by-the-moment spree, when this video (http://youtu.be/0ea_xZpgYXg) caught him pleasuring himself atop a bike he'd just slashed.

Crime: Misdemeanor sexual abuse
Date: August
Location: Washington, D.C.

For months, women in Dupont Circle, Washington D.C., were terrorized by a mountain-bike-mounted groper. This man wasn't the fastest bike in the race, as he typically wore the same gray baseball hat and green backpack, allowing his victims to easily corroborate each other's witness accounts. He pled guilty to four counts of misdemeanor sexual abuse.

Crime: Drunk driving
Date: March
Location: State College, PA

State College, PA is a hell of a town. It's rowdy real-estate is home to Penn State University, which might explain why the police arrested a man drunkenly riding his bicycle through downtown with an alcohol blood content of more than twice the legal limit. At 32 years old, it's less likely that the man was a hazed fraternity brother, but in Happy Valley, anything is possible.

Crime: Attempted murder
Date: June
Location: San Francisco, CA

Drive-by shootings are no longer limited to cars. In Tacoma, WA, a 17 year old youth shot a pistol at a police officer who was pursuing him. Luckily, the boy missed, the cop raised his weapon to return fire, and the youth dropped the gun. Kids can be stupid though, and this one is no exception. He tried to try to escape again, but was tackled by the officer.

Crime: Theft
Date: December
Location: Wenzhou, China

A man in China woke up one day and decided he was now a badass. Two thieves on a motorized scooter snatched a woman's purse and were getting away when this bystander calmly dismounted his bike, took aim, and hurled his Huffy into the fleeing criminals, knocking them off their scooter, presumably before he turned green and large and started smashing.

Crime: Graffiti
Date: April
Location: NY, NY

When the GOP held its National Convention in NYC, one man saw an opportunity. He had recently completed an internet-connected sidewalk printing graffiti bike and felt this would be the perfect opportunity to test it. The idea was that users would go to his website and type in messages which would be relayed to the bike, processed by a computer, and sprayed onto the sidewalk by mounted spray paint cans. The police arrested him before even seeing the bike, but you should definitely check it out.

Crime: Vandalism
Date: July
Location: Sutton Park, UK

Just by looking at this photo, you can almost hear the cries of "those darn kids and their bikes ruining our town". A National park has recently had many of its trees chopped down and ramps built in their place. A spokesperson has called the park "an area of outstanding beauty and has been classed as a Scheduled Ancient Monument." If only those meddling kids could respect nature's beauty.

Crime: Drunk driving, manslaughter
Date: June
Location: Monterrey, Mexico

We've found the perfect anecdote on why it's bad to drink and drive. A drunk driver took it upon himself to plow through a race in Mexico, killing one and injuring 10 others. The worst part? They had only been racing for 15 minutes in a 21 mile race.

Crime: Doping
Date: June
Location: Worldwide

In the recent words of disgraced doper Lance Armstrong, it's "impossible to win the Tour De France without doping". Last year, a wrench was thrown into the world of professional cycling when the system of elaborate and secretive doping came to light. In the good ol' U.S. of A., Armstrong had amassed a brilliant organization in which a crooked doctor helped nearly the entire U.S. Postal Service Pro Cycling Team to dope. The house of cards came tumbling down when several riders came forward, disgracing Armstrong and pro-cycling in the process.

Crime: Robbery
Date: June
Location: Santa Cruz, CA

Movies portray bank robbers as epic criminal masterminds, but sometimes they're really just a pudgy dude on a two-wheeler. In the summer of 2010, Santa Cruz had several bank holdups at the hands of man wearing a helmet, sunglasses and riding gloves. Somehow always taken seriously, the robber would load up a messenger bag with the cash and pedal away to sweet freedom.

Crime: Bombs
Date: March
Location: NY, NY

At 3:43 a.m. on a Spring morning, a cyclist placed a small bomb in front of the famed Armed Forces recruiting center in Times Square which quickly detonated. Thankfully, there were no injuries, and the damage was minor. The cyclist in still on the loose, with the FBI and NYPD recently offering a $65K reward for information on the suspect.