The 50 Most Badass Premier League Moments of the 2000s

Premier LeagueBecksManchester UnitedRooneyChelseaRoy KeaneArsenalplusthe 50 Most Badass Premier League Moments of the 2000s

Eleven goals in one match, with a missed penalty thrown in. It's one of those times when the score flashes up on the TV screen like this: "Portsmouth 7 (SEVEN) - Reading 4"—just to make sure no one thinks it's a typo. The highest scoring game in Premier League history.

It's hard to imagine a player becoming a club legend in just one season, but the Argentine dynamo Carlos Tevez did just that in the 2006/07 season with West Ham. With the club fighting relegation, Tevez saved his best for last, scoring three memorable goals—two against Bolton and a stunner against Manchester United—in the season's final two games as the Hammers avoided the bottom three. He left that summer to join United, but he'll always be remembered fondly at Upton Park.

Campbell was the rock of the Arsenal defense, but in February 2006 he was having a horrific time against West Ham and the Gunners were 2-1 down at halftime. Arsene Wenger substituted Campbell. Did Sol stick around to support? No, Campbell pulled a Vince Young and went missing, with nobody able to track him down for a week as he missed a match against Birmingham. Teammate Robert Pires indicated Campbell had "a big worry on the private side." Eh?

In 2008/09, Glen Johnson's last season at Portsmouth, he bagged the Goal of the Season award with this effort. It may well have added a few zeros to his pay packet when he signed for Liverpool that summer.

Ben Thatcher is about as popular in England as his namesake Margaret. But rather than attempting to destroy the education and health systems and implementing aggressive privatization in the U.K. like the Iron Lady did, Ben merely attempted to destroy the face of Portsmouth player Pedro Mendes with this horror tackle during his time at Manchester City. Mendes was officially flattened.

Arsene Wenger is the serene French sophisticate, the antithesis of the old-style, blood-and-guts English manager. He's calm, he's intelligent, and he doesn't shout. Well, at least as long as Arsenal is winning. When West Ham scored this late goal and manager Alan Pardew started celebrating, Wenger didn't like it. One bit.

Chelsea had won back-to-back titles and, supported by Russian oil money, looked set to dominate for years. But, rather then sitting back, they decided to shit their rivals up by spending £30 million on the world's (then) best striker, the prolific Ukrainaian from AC Milan. It should have been a moment to savor. Turns out Sheva was about to begin a rapid decline that reportedly led to in-house arguments over whether he should play. With only 22 goals in 75 appearances over two years for the Blues, a dream signing it was not.

This particular North London derby served up 90 minutes of end-to-end action and some brilliant goals. For fans of the Premier League, this pretty much sums up what the game's all about. Intensity, speed, passion, and a whole load of excitement. Some shit defending, though.

Can Joe Kinnear swear? Yes. Does he like the local press? No. Did he think they gave him an easy ride when he took over as Newcastle manager? No. How do we know? Listen to this—but make sure there are no kids around. Even Mike Ditka is blushing.

For a short time in the early 2000s, Leeds and Newcastle looked like potential title contenders. Having accidentally bought far too many attacking players, managers Bobby Robson and David O'Leary occasionally decided to forget about defenses and just play all of their forwards. This was one such occasion. One of the best comebacks in the last decade.

The Man. United v. Arsenal rivalry that dominated the early 2000s wasn't so much the fans hating each other, but the players. And by hated each other, we mean fucking despised one another. (More on this later.) In 2003, after United striker Ruud van Nistelrooy had played a part in getting Patrick Vieira sent off, he then missed a last-minute penalty. Defender Martin Keown and others couldn't really hide their delight. Keown was later fined £5,000 for taunting and pushing RvN, but we're sure he'll tell you that it was well worth it.

A player's focus is vital. But, if pre-match you're concentrating on stuffing a written transfer request in your sock, then maybe you're not really focusing on the right elements of the upcoming game. Wigan defender Pascal Chimbonda did exactly that on the last day of the 2005/06 season. He handed the paper to the Wigan management as he walked off the pitch. Months later, he left for Tottenham. Ah...loyalty.

The best part about this goal is that it pretty much summed up what drove the early part of Rooney's career. Literally milliseconds before, he'd been arguing with—or rather, snarling and swearing at—the referee. As they jogged towards the edge of the area, Rooney caught sight of the ball dropping out of the sky and obviously just decided to kick the fuck out of it.

As Liverpool came as close as they've ever come to the Premier League title, Rafael Benitez was determined to prove that the he could handle the pressure and not get drawn into a psychological battle with Sir Alex. He couldn't. Benitez's rambling press conference was viewed as one of the major turning points in the 2008/09 season. United fans took to chanting "Top of the league, and that's a fact!" as they edged towards their eventual title.

Before the 2010 World Cup brought up the old debate about goal-line technology, there was 1966...and this. Forget the calamitous goalkeeping from Roy Carroll and just marvel at the inability of the officials to see just how far over the line Tottenham midfielder Pedro Mendes' shot was.

This was all about Andrei Arshavin showing Arsenal fans what boss Arsene Wenger had opened his tightly-sealed wallet for. When individuals bag a hat-full of goals in a single match, it usually comes in a one-sided affair in which one team runs away with it. The fact that Arshavin's foursome happened in a heavyweight slugfest between two of the 'Big Four' certainly adds value to the lil' Russian's feat.

It's hard to describe the indescribable. Commentator Martin Tyler, in immediate reaction to the genius of this Paul Scholes screamer against Aston Villa, could only shout: "How?!"

The greatest comeback in the history of the Premier League? It was a game that saw Spurs go 3-0 up by halftime. Imagine them sitting around the locker room, feet up, laughing, joking, looking forward to putting one over the league champions. The scene in the Manchester United locker room was possibly a little less serene, with Fergie dipping into his extensive catalogue of expletives. Cole, Blanc, van Nistelrooy, Veron, and Beckham all scored in the second half to pull off a remarkable turnaround.

Chelsea's first English league championship came way back in 1955, 12 years before even Frank Lampard's father started playing professionally. Some 50 years on, with the help of an enterprising Russian and the Special One, they finally confirmed that they were back at the top of English soccer. You may call them "Chelski," but they certainly know how to win trophies.

Was this the best of CR7's United goals? His unique way of striking the ball, combined with the dip, the pace, and the astonished look on keeper David James' face...classic. Add that to his comically dramatic pre-kick stance and the Blanka-like celebration...well, just watch the video.

The most remarkable fact about this scoreline from 2009 was not that it was 9-1. What?! OK, that’s pretty special. But it was only 1-0 at halftime. That’s an 8-1 second half there, Wigan. Yeah, you got one, well done... Jermain Defoe got five on his own!

Before Gordon Ramsey came along and got all angry at chefs on both sides of the pond, Delia Smith was quietly baking cakes for the nation's housewives as England's answer to Julia Child. But did Julia Child ever become one of the majority shareholders at her favorite soccer team, then one matchday have a few too many glasses of wine and decide that going on the pitch at halftime to destroy her cozy image was a good idea? Nope. But guess who did? Funny!

John Terry and Wayne Bridge used to be the best of friends at Chelsea. Terry obviously took it to mean they should share everything. When the news leaked that Terry had been knocking off Bridge's ex (and baby mama), Veronica Perroncel, the Manchester City defender didn't exactly take it well. Ahead of the two team's playing each other, Bridge chose not to adhere to pre-match pleasantries and snubbed Terry in the 'fair play' handshake. Cheers went up all around the watching world. City went on to win, 4-2.

What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. But when the manager decides to keep his players on the pitch at halftime to give them a severe bollocking, it tends not to work so well. Hull were 4-0 down to Manchester City, and Brown's idea to keep his players on the pitch is generally perceived to be the point when the bronzed manager lost the plot and the faith of his players. Did lead to a great goal celebration the following season though!

Jose Mourinho came, he talked, and he conquered. Then things didn't go so well for a few weeks, and he left. Was it the signing of Shevchenko? Was owner Roman Abramovich interfering with team selection? Whatever it was, the English game has sorely missed the one-man soap opera—love him or hate him—ever since he abruptly departed Stamford Bridge.

With City's influx of cash, the rivalry between the two Manchester sides is set to be a key part of the Premier League for the coming years. If this game at Old Trafford from last season is anything to go by, then it's going to be sweet indeed. With just seconds on the clock, United led 3-2, but Craig Bellamy grabbed an equalizer and seemingly saved a point for City. Then, Michael Owen—in the sixth(!) minute of added time—grabbed a winner for the Red Devils. Afterwards, Mark Hughes was none too pleased.

The Arsenal and United players mutual dislike (see #39) threatened to boil over before the game even started in 2005. With Arsenal players reportedly pinning Gary Neville to the wall of the tunnel, Roy Keane stepped in to sort the situation. The Irishman menacingly told Vieira, the instigator-in-chief, "See you out there," as ref Graham Poll tried to calm things down. When they did finally get out there, United won 4-2 in another highly entertaining encounter.

The Premier League, just like the rest of the world, has been all about money—and the lack thereof—these last few years. So, it was no surprise that, with wages and bonuses out of control, a Premier League club went into administration (which results in an administrator being appointed by the court to save an in-debt company from liquidation). Given the huge flow of cash into the league, it's taken gross financial mismanagement to end up in this situation—but perhaps, it will act as a necessary wake-up call for the rest of the league. Or perhaps not.

England's favorite son had finally outstayed his welcome at Old Trafford by the summer of 2003. After the "flying boot" incident, both Becks and Fergie were ready for a split. Was the league really waving goodbye to its most famous name? Ultimately, the move proved a bonus for both parties: Beckham went to Madrid and further boosted his profile, while United quickly signed a new #7—a young lad by the name of Cristiano Ronaldo.

Best, Robson, Cantona, and Beckham had all donned the Manchester United #7 shirt. All had helped give the number a mythical quality that even the likes of Ralph Milne couldn't destroy. So, to give it to an 18-year-old kid from Portugal on his debut—well, some thought that might be too much weight to bear. Not for Ronaldo, it would seem. The touch, the dribbling, the showmanship—from the moment he stepped onto the pitch as a 61st-minute sub against Bolton, CR7 was marked for United stardom...and later (inevitably?), universal hate.

The final installment of the Arsenal-United feuds on our list came in 2004, when Manchester United put an end to Arsenal's 49-game unbeaten run with a famous 2-0 win at Old Trafford. After the match, Arsenal's players—reportedly wearing "50 Not Out" T-shirts under their kits—were still seething over a late disputed penalty. It all kicked off in the tunnel post-game, with Cesc Fabregas thought to have been the player who threw a pizza that hit Sir Alex Ferguson—to hear Ashley Cole tell it—"straight in the mush." Why oh why was this not caught on tape?

To-do list: Take random doping test. If only Rio had had a smartphone, everything may have been alright. Whether he dodged it on purpose or not, Rio's excuse—that he is merely forgetful and simply went shopping to buy things for his new house—for missing a drug test at United's training ground in 2003 didn't quite hold up. The player was slapped with an eight-month ban, missing the rest of the league season as well as England's Euro 2004 campaign. Because he got high? Begs the question...

Don't even say he didn't do it on purpose. Remember this?

Karma is indeed a muthafucka—especially so when dealing with Badass Roy Keane. As Keane lay prostrate on the turf after he injured his cruciate ligament against Leeds in 1997, Alf Inge Haaland stood over him and shouted at him for faking injury. Bad move, Alf. Keane was out of the game for nearly a year. Fast forward to 2001 and Keane got his revenge. In his autobiography, Keane writes: "I'd waited long enough. I fucking hit him hard. The ball was there (I think). Take that you cunt. And don't ever stand over me sneering about fake injuries." We're getting the idea that you shouldn't really fuck with this guy.

Ah, the passion of soccer...young lads pumped up with adrenaline, sometimes spilling over into physical confrontations. It's inevitable, really, and not that big a deal. Hang on, wait: Don't you two play for the same team? Yeah? OK, you guys are fucking up then.

With his team down a goal in the dying minutes of the 2006 FA Cup Final, Steven Gerrard did what he does best—put Liverpool on his back and find a way to carry them to victory. The captain fired this 37-yard equalizer in extra time, and later converted his penalty as the Reds lifted the trophy in Cardiff. They may not have won any Premier League titles in the 2000s, but the 'Pool was still deep with highlights.

Jose Mourinho rocked up at Chelsea in 2004 having just guided FC Porto to the Champions League title, knocking out Manchester United and ruffling Sir Alex Ferguson's feathers along the way. Did that make him sure of himself? Well, in his first interaction with the British press as Chelsea manager, he said: "I think I'm a special one." It was just the first of many attention-grabbing media appearances to come.

Alan Shearer is the Premier League's all-time record goal-scorer with 260 goals—the next best, Andy Cole, has 187. Was this the pick of the lot, against Everton in 2002? We think so.

Bloody Americans, eh! Firstly the Glazers launched an aggressive takeover of Manchester United, leaving them millions of pounds in debt; then Hicks and Gillett did the same at Liverpool. The two biggest clubs in the Premier League face imminent financial meltdown and both ownerships have been vocally opposed by fans of each team. Incredibly, it's not totally unthinkable that these two institutions could go the way of Portsmouth. Thanks, Uncle Sam.

Wayne Rooney at 16. A talent is born.

If you are bottom of the league at Christmas, it means you are definitely relegated—or at least, that was how it had been every single season of the Premier League until 2005. West Bromwich Albion were not only bottom at Xmas but also on the season's final day, and looked a certainty to be dropped to the second tier of English soccer. It was thus considered a miracle when West Brom's 2-0 win—coupled with Crystal Palace, Southampton, and Norwich all failing to win—saw the Baggies escape relegation. Cue pitch invasion.

As the first splashy foreign tycoon to try his luck in the Premier League, the Russian oligarch proved that money can buy you success. After the 36-year-old paid £150 million for the club in 2003, he saw the Blues win three of the next six titles. Does it look like he'll ever stop? Nyet.

Curious, maybe, for a mere career decision to be our #1 Badass moment, but think about its ramifications: In the summer of 2001, Sir Alex announced his plan to retire at the end of the 2001/02 season. It was a decision that proved to have disastrous consequences, as United struggled mightliy in the following months—so much so that Fergie reversed his plans halfway through the season. Since then, he's proven that despite being in his 60s, he still has the thirst and hunger for the fight, guiding the team to three out of the last four titles and a Champions League trophy to boot. Players come and go, but Sir Alex has been the biggest single factor in United's continued success. What would the last 10 years have looked liked without him?