I Want to Call Plays for the Cleveland Browns

The Cleveland Browns are auctioning off the chance to call 15 plays during a 2020 preseason game. I need to win this and secure my chance at glory.

Baker Mayfield Training Camp 2018
USA Today Sports

Jul 26, 2018; Berea, OH, USA; Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield (6) walks onto the field during training camp at the Cleveland Browns Training Complex. Mandatory Credit: Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

Baker Mayfield Training Camp 2018

Teams are really getting creative in thiking of ways to raise money for Covid-19 support. That's a good thing. Let's raise all the damn money because people need it right now. The Cleveland Browns just jumped into the game too, announcing today that people can enter for a chance to help head coach Kevin Stefanksi script 15 plays during a preseason game in 2020. As a Browns fan, I had to enter. It's for a good cause, and honestly, I just want to call plays in an NFL game. This is my shot at greatness and I won't be deterred.

Think you can script an NFL game?

Coach Kevin Stefanski is offering the chance to help script 15 plays for one of our preseason games and even more immersive experiences — all for a great cause!

Details » https://t.co/xHlvlYr3ZN#ALLINCHALLENGE @allinchallenge pic.twitter.com/rOdsRaoFbw

— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) May 22, 2020

Now, there are two ways to win this one. Either you enter the auction or the sweepstakes. I went the sweepstakes route because, and I won't lie, the auction was a little rich for my blood. Props to whoever wins the auction, though. Hopefully that bid goes super high and raises a ton of money. As for my journey to call plays for the Browns, I went ahead and bought 400 entries into the sweepstakes. I might buy more.

This would be a dream moment for me. For years I've complained on Twitter about the Browns and how much they've sucked. I've had to endure so many horrendous play calls over the course of my fandom, that I really don't think I could be any worse than what we've seen. Let's not forget Freddie Kitchens calling a draw play on 4th and 9 last season on Monday Night Football. We can only go up from here, and I want to be part of the rise.

I've played enough Madden over the years to know the basics. I also have common sense and know that calling plays to get Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry the ball would work. Or how about a dive to Nick Chubb? See, I'm ready to go. I've also interviewed Baker, Jarvis, and Odell over the past year. The chemistry is already there. Just sit back and watch the magic happen. 

So, if the Browns are reading this, I'm not encouraging you to rig the sweepstakes, but I'm just saying I'm the guy for the job. Football Chopz is ready to talk the helm and lead the Browns to greatness... in a preseason game that nobody will remember by next September. 

Latest in Sports